OPENING BABBLE: Ah, well, this would be my first fan fiction, so it's kind of "out there"...as in it may not make a WHOLE lot of sense...but hey, I try. So if you have any comments or some junk, drop me a line at pinklet@juno.com because I check my email so much you wouldn't believe it...Thanks! ~Denae Vaughan~ Oh yeah, copyrights - you know the routine...most of the characters in this are (c) Warner Bros. No, I was not clever enough to come up with them first...darn it! :o) And now, without further ado... The Acme Acres Theme Park "Hey Babs," Buster Bunny said, sitting down in the chair next to her. It was lunchtime at Acme Loo, and Buster greedily took a bite of the mystery meat sandwich, hunger overcoming his initial repugnance. Babs glanced briefly at him. "Hey," she murmured imperceptibly, and turned her attention back to a recent issue of Teen Toon magazine. "Look at that shirt! Isn't that cute? It would look great on you, Shirl." Buster rolled his eyes and turned his own attention to his French fries. Fifi, who was sitting directly across from Buster, idly flipped the page of the magazine, craning her head to read the upside-down print. "Ooh, look!" she cried, "Ze Acme Acres Theme Park ees opening next weekend! It looks, 'ow you say, extremely fun!" Buster looked at the magazine, which was open to a large advertisement for the new theme park. The picture showed several exciting looking rides, each filled with several laughing toons (in the latest fashions, of course). "Hey, the school year ends next Friday. Why don't we all go to the theme park that weekend to celebrate? Plucky and Hamton too." "That's a great idea, Buster!" Babs said, finally paying some attention to him. "Yeah, that would be, like, totally great!" Shirley chimed in, "But I like, don't have a thing to wear..." "Oh, zat ees no problem, Shirlee, vous can order some new clothes from zees catalog," Fifi said, pointing to a picture of a girl duck in designer wear. "Zees ees so pretty, and stylish!" "Oh yeah, I love it!" Babs said. Buster just rolled his eyes and sighed. Girls... ***** After another agonizing week of school, the final Friday finally arrived. As the bell sounded the end of the school day, the doors of Acme Loo flew open, releasing the young toons from their year-long bondage. Babs and Buster Bunny were among the last few to make the exodus, strolling happily through the doors to the outside world. "Ah, summer's here again at last!" Babs said cheerfully. "Yeah, and not a moment too soon," Buster agreed. "I was beginning to think it would never end." For a moment, the pair remained on the top steps of the Looniversity, taking in the sights and sounds of summer. At the moment, it was all very peaceful. Babs sighed with contentment. Without warning, Buster grabbed Babs' hand. "Come on, let's catch up with the other kids at the Weenie Burger!" he shouted, racing off down the steps and dragging Babs along with him. ***** "So, like, are we going to get to the park early tomorrow, or some junk?" The question, put by Shirley, demanded serious pondering over. After all, the next day would be the first official day of summer vacation. Was it worth it to break summer tradition and get up early in order to be on time for the opening of the new Acme Acres Theme Park? Babs chewed the thought as well as her veggie burger. "We-ell..." she said slowly, "I guess that's a good idea." "I zink so too," added Fifi. Buster, Plucky, and Hamton glanced up in horror. "Get up early? I don't even do that for school!" Buster said. "No kidding," muttered Babs, "And I should know, considering I wait on you every single morning to walk to school with you." "Well, no way am I sacrificing sleeping through the morning," Plucky said. "Oh yeah? Then like don't complain tomorrow when the lines are so long you can't even get in the park!" Shirley snapped. Hamton had been silent through all this, but decided to speak up, "I think the girls are right. We need to get there early if we want to get in to ride the rides and eat funnel cakes." "Zhat's my Hamton. Always theenking with hees stomach," Fifi sighed as she stirred her milkshake with her straw. "I got it," Babs said, snapping her fingers, "Let's just see who gets to the park first: the guys or the girls. Losers have to pay for the other team's admission." She smiled smugly. "You're on," Buster said, putting his hand out. Babs took it and they shook on it. "We'll see who gets there first tomorrow. Better have plenty of cash on you, Babsy." Babs just grinned and ate the last bite of her veggie burger. Daintly, she wiped her hands with a paper napkin, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it onto the table. She stood up, saying, "Come on, girls. You're staying at my place tonight." "Why?" Shirley and Fifi asked. "So we all get there together tomorrow morning. Before any of these morons do," Babs said, indicating the boys with a nonchalant wave of her hand. The girls got up from the booth and walked out the door. "Two can play at this game," Buster said, "Plucky and Hamton, you can stay at my house tonight." ***** The next morning, an energetic voice saying, "Up and at 'em, gals!" awakened Shirley and Fifi. Babs, already dressed and ready to go, was standing with her hands on her hips. "Rise and shine, people. We have to go pretty quick if we want to make our bet." Shirley and Fifi slowly got up and stretched. Fifteen minutes later, the amazing three piled into Babs' mother's car, with Babs behind the wheel. Shirley and Fifi made it a point to buckle up. Babs rolled her eyes at them. "Aw come on guys, I'm not that bad of a driver!" "Like, we are taking no chances, Babs." "Oui." Babs ignored their comments and revved up the engine. After knocking down two mailboxes and a picket fence, she made it to the actual street, where she immediately floored it and got up to 75 miles an hour. Shirley and Fifi were looking rather white in the face at this point. After several sharp turns and narrow misses, Shirl piped up and said, "Like, I think that's the turn, or some junk." Babs made a very wide right turn, veering into the other lane. She expertly dodged the oncoming traffic and made it back to the right side of the road without any collisions. "Hey, I'm getting pretty good at this!" Babs said. In no time at all, the car swerved into the parking lot for Acme Acres Theme Park. Babs managed to get an excellent spot that was very close to the front gates. She slammed on the brakes just inches from the car facing opposite, put the car in park, and removed the keys. Turning to her friends, she said, "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Fifi and Shirley gaped at her. Babs sighed. "Everyone's a critic," she muttered, opening the door and climbing out of the car. ***** Meanwhile, in a burrow not too far away... Buster Bunny flopped over on his side. He was still in bed, and Hamton and Plucky were out cold on the floor. Buster stretched a little and looked at his alarm clock. Immediately, he snapped wide-awake and sat upright in bed. Grabbing the clock, he yelled, "It's 8:00 already?! We're late!" Buster hopped down to the floor and shook Plucky and Hamton awake. "Guys, we've overslept! We have to hurry or the girls will win the bet!" Hamton pulled his pillow over his head and muttered (very muffled), "What bet?" Plucky, however, realizing that he might lose money, jumped off the floor and helped Buster pull the covers off Hamton. "Come on, Hammy, I don't want to pay for Shirl's ticket! Get up already!" Eventually, after much tugging and persuasion, Buster and Plucky managed to wake Hamton up and drag him to Buster's car. They got in and Buster drove as fast as he could. On the way, they passed Babs' place. "Uh-oh," said Plucky, "Looks like the girls already left!" "What makes you say that?" Buster asked. "Because there's a lot of broken wood lying in the street..." "Babs," Buster and Hamton said in unison. "That crazy bunny couldn't drive right if you paid her," Buster muttered. After what seemed like an eternity to the guys, they arrived at the park. Unfortunately, most of the good spots were already taken and they had to park on the far outskirts and walk the 3.5 miles to the front gates and ticket office. "This reminds me waaay too much of Happy World Land," Plucky muttered. "But at least here I get to actually ride some rides." Finally, the boys reached the gates and joined the back of the eternal line to get in. "I don't see the girls," Hamton said, "I hope Babs didn't get in a car wreck or something." "Naah, there would have been more roadside damage if that had happened," Plucky said. The three began walking alongside the line, looking for the girls. On the way, the guys saw a lot of people they knew. "Looks like the park had quite a turnout!" Buster said. Most of the students at Acme Loo were there. Dizzy Devil, Furrball, Calamity (who happened to be chasing Little Beeper up and down the line)...even the bit characters like Concorde and Bookworm. Buster spotted Bugs Bunny, his mentor, who was standing next to the attractive Lola Bunny, and waved. Way up near the front of the line, a pink figure was shouting and waving enthusiastically. Buster began walking toward her. "Come on, you guys," he said, "Maybe they've saved us a place in line." "They better have, considering we're paying for them," Plucky grumbled. "Hey, Babaloo," Buster said when they (finally) arrived at the girls' spot in line. "Boy, you sure know how to pick a good place to stand in line." "It's girl thing," Babs said smugly, "Hope you brought enough cash for us ladies." "Rope it in, Babs." Babs grinned, playfully wrapping one of her ears around his. "Oh, he can dish it out, but he can't take it!" she cooed, stroking his cheek with her other ear. Buster began to melt. "Hey, knock it off, you two," Plucky interrupted. The Bunnies looked up to see the troupe had reached the ticket window. A very bored looking blond poked her head out the ticket window. "Yo," she muttered, "You wanna ticket to this dump, or what?" Buster, somewhat taken aback by this total lack of enthusiasm, said, "Erm...yeah. Three students," Babs nudged him sharply in the ribs with her elbow, "I mean, six students, please." The blond pushed buttons on the cash register and asked, "So do you got a soda can? It's got discounts on it." Suddenly, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot went running by. Babs stuck her foot out and expertly tripped Wakko Warner, who went sprawling on the pavement. "Hold it right there, pal," Babs said, reaching behind him and pulling out his gag bag. She flung it on the ground and began digging through it, eventually extracting a can. "Thanks," she said, handing Wakko his bag, who scratched his head, shrugged, and darted off after his sibs. "Here you go," Babs said, tossing the soda can on the counter. The blond pushed some more buttons, and a long receipt came out of the machine, which she handed to Buster, along with six tickets. "There's your tickets, lose 'em and die because I'm not making you another one." "Um, thank you," Buster said, taking the tickets. "There you go, enjoy your stay and don't bother coming back anytime soon." "Today's youth. Sheesh," Babs murmured, rolling her eyes. The six moved through the gates to the interior of the park. Buster began distributing tickets. After doing so, he asked the question hanging on everyone's thoughts: "What do you guys want to do first?" "I hear the Tunnel of Doom is supposed to be really good!" Plucky began, "Why don't we..." He was interrupted by a squeal from Babs. "Look! A gift shop!" she shouted, and dashed off, followed by Shirley and Fifi. Buster turned to Plucky and Hamton, shrugging. A microsecond later, the girls exited the shop, each carrying three or four bags of gift shop stuff. Babs had changed from her typical attire of yellow blouse and purple skirt into some very short maroon shorts and a pale blue shirt with the theme park's logo emblazoned on the front. Two maroon bows adorned the tips of her ears. She sidled up to Buster and said, "Do you think my ears would look better up or down?" "Can't you go anywhere without shopping?" "But the shorts look good? Tell me the shorts look good!" "Babsy," Buster began, and said in his best Babs voice, "You look maaaaahvelous!" "Awww, thanks." ***** "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The Puke-o-Mania roller coaster had begun its rapid descent. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" "Buster, will you knock it off! I'm going deaf!" Babs yelled, bopping him lightly over the head. Buster did not respond; he just clutched Babs' hand tightly and made a little "Eep!" sound. "Whee!" cried Fifi, who was seated in the car before them. Hamton was clutching desperately to her, his head buried in her shoulder and his eyes screwed tight shut. Fifi tried to extricate herself from his vice-like grip. "Hamton, it ees not so bad! Come on, look, eet ees fun!" Hamton opened his eyes briefly. They bugged out of his head. Moaning, he slammed them shut for the remainder of the ride. "Who-hoo!" Plucky shouted from in front of Fifi and Hamton. "This is some fun, huh guys! Come on Hammy, you're missing the best part! We're about to go on the loop!" Hamton turned a deep shade of green. Fifi petted his head. "Like, chill Plucky!" Shirley said, "Don't stress poor Hamton out! He's freaked enough." "Are vous all right, my little piggy of passion?" Fifi cooed, stroking his head some more. Hamton relaxed somewhat and nodded. The roller coaster entered the loop-de-loop section. Over it went, seven or eight times, before going into a corkscrew and several breathtaking dives. Buster and Babs began screaming and laughing at the tops of their lungs, Hamton turned green again, Fifi laughed and clapped her hands together, Plucky made several comments about the possibilities of the cars flying off the track, and Shirley progressed into a higher state of consciousness. Too soon (for everyone but Hamton), the coaster came to an abrupt stop. As soon as the safety bars flew up, Hamton leapt out of his seat and made off for the nearest men's room. Buster and Babs hopped out of their seat, followed by Shirl, Plucky, and Fifi, who immediately asked, "Does anyone want to ride eet again?" "Maybe later, Feef. Right now I'd like my stomach to go back down where it belongs," Buster said, a little dizzy from the high speeds. "Who's up for some bumper cars?" Babs eagerly asked. "Are you driving one of them?" Plucky asked hesitantly. "Of course!" "No thanks!" everyone shouted. Babs glared at them. "Let's ride the Tunnel of Doom!" Plucky begged. "How about some food?" Hamton, who had returned from his emergency bathroom trip, asked. "Now that sounds good. I'm starved!" Buster said. Babs checked the Acme Acres Theme Park wristwatch she had purchased from a gift shop, "Wow! It's already noon. We've been riding stuff for four hours." "So, like, where should we eat?" Shirley asked. Hamton produced a map of the park. "All the restaurants are listed on here," he said, as Buster took the map and unfolded it. "Let's see..." Buster murmured, reading the choices. "There's a pork-n-beans place over by the water park." Hamton glared at him meaningfully. "I was kidding!" "Ooh, zere ees a burger place over by zee geeft shop center," Fifi said, peering at the map over Buster's left shoulder. "Or an all-you-can-eat veggie bar near this coaster," Babs said, peering over Buster's right shoulder. "This sounds good," Buster said, reading, " 'There's something for everyone at the All American Diner, located in the beautiful Nature Park. Burgers, pizza, tacos and more.' What do you think?" "I don't care! Just pick someplace before I starve!" Hamton said. "Let's go," Babs said, grabbing Buster's hand and trotting off down the path. "If nothing else, it will add a plot to this story! Right, Denae?" she asked, looking at me meaningfully. I shrugged. "Calm down Babs! I'm getting there!" (hopefully...) ***** "I'd like ten mayo and cream cheese on rye sandwiches, four orders of French fries, a garden salad, a Caesar salad, a house salad, nine veggie tacos, an extra large chocolate milkshake, and a slice of pecan pie with whipped cream." "Geez, Hammy, buy out the whole store!" griped Plucky. "I can't help it. Rides make me hungry," Hamton said defensively. Buster sighed, and placed his order. "We'd like to split a pizza, please," he said, gesturing to Babs, "No onions or those little green things on it. Extra cheese. And two medium carrot sodas." The waitress, a dumpy purple rat, scribbled it onto her notepad and then headed for the kitchen. The group was crammed into a tiny booth, and everyone was hot and sweaty from a long morning out in the summer sun. In addition to being hungry the cramped conditions of the booth weren't helping their moods. But it had been the only available table; at lunchtime, the diner was packed. Babs was sitting next to a window, and she stared outside at the lovely gardens of the nature park. There were some gorgeous flowers and trees out there, and the sunlight was streaming in through the tree leaves. On the way to the restaurant, the troupe had passed a charming little lake that had been such a beautiful blue. Up on the bank, shaded by some weeping willows was a wooden park bench. Babs placed her chins in her hands and dreamily imagined her and Buster sitting on that bench overlooking the lake, arms encircling each other, just the two of them in a beautiful, quiet, picturesque scene. Plucky Duck interrupted her thoughts by flicking a paper wad into her face. She snapped out of her daydream, twitching her nose before saying, "Of course you know, this means war!" Babs began yanking napkins out of the dispenser, quickly wadding them up and hurling them across the table at the green duck, who was trying to dodge the assault to no avail. Finally, he resorted to grabbing a handful of Shirley's yellow hair, holding it in front of his face like a shield. "OUCH!" Shirley squealed, "Plucky, let go!! You're hurting, or some junk!" Plucky ducked under the table and Babs snickered. "Good grief, it's just paper, not an arsenal of anvils!" Plucky poked his head back the rim of the table. "Uncle?" Babs asked, extending her hand. "Uncle," Plucky said, taking her hand. As he released it, an anvil dropped from the sky and conked him squarely on the head, plunging him back beneath the tabletop. "I just can't help myself," Babs chuckled. The waitress returned with a huge tray of food. She began plonking orders down in front of their respective orderers, managing Hamton's order with no little difficulty. Sighing, she shoved a receipt under Fifi's plate, and stomped off. "The workers are so darn cheerful here," Babs said. "Like, no kidding. They are totally depressed. They need to like, be the other way," Shirley said, taking a bite of her tofu burger. Babs and Buster popped open their cans of carrot soda, and received a surprise. Yakko and Wakko Warner jumped out of Babs' can, and Dot from Buster's. Each planted a kiss on the Bunny who opened their can, with a cry of "Helllllloooooo Nurse!" "You guys just can't get enough of us, can you?" Babs asked dryly. "No one could ever get enough of you, Pink stuff!" Yakko said, twisting one of her ears around his fingers. "Or you, Blue boy!" Dot said, leaning against Buster. "Are those Bungle Boy jeans you're wearing?" "Actually," Buster said, "I'm not wearing any pants." Wakko lifted his shirt front up and said, "Me neither!" "Good night, everybody!" Yakko shouted, kissing the palm of his hand. "In the meantime, Dottie, you're standing in the middle of our pizza," Buster cut in, trying to pry Dot off of him. "Call me Dottie and you die," she said sweetly, stepping off Buster's lunch. "Come on, sibs, we have other people to annoy!" Yakko said, leaping off the table. Wakko and Dot jumped off and landed one on either side of him. Then the three took off, jumping up and down and shouting, "BOINGY, BOINGY, BOINGY!" Yakko flung open the door, and the trio scampered outside. "Well that was unnecessary," Buster muttered, putting what was left of the pizza back together. Babs calmly selected a slightly-squashed piece, "Isn't that how it always is around here?" "I guess so...YOWZA!" Buster's attention had been diverted when an extremely sexy looking peach-colored rabbit strolled into the diner. She was wearing a tank top and some VERY short shorts. She was also extremely tall, with great-looking legs. Buster's mouth flopped open, his jaw hitting the table and his tongue rolling out. Babs glanced at him, confused, and followed his gaze to the peach-colored rabbit, who was now standing toward the middle of the diner, looking for an empty table (of which there were none). Babs sighed heavily...when would Buster outgrow this? It really got on her nerves. The peach-colored rabbit continued shifting her eyes around the room, looking for a table. She spotted Buster, who by this point had erected several signs reading "PLEASE SIT HERE" and "EMPTY SPOT AT THIS TABLE". He was also standing on the tabletop and pointing wildly. "Like, Buster, there's no room here, or some junk!" Shirley said. "Ah, sure there is! We can fit one more!" The peach rabbit began walking toward their table, smiling, and when she reached them, she said, "Hi there. What's your name?" Buster pulled his collar back to let a cloud of steam out and cleared his throat. "Buster...Buster Bunny. And...um...you are?" The peach rabbit giggled. "I'm Trisha," she said. Buster smiled. "Trisha...what a beautiful name!" "Yeah. I was wondering, have you seen a tall, dark rabbit come in here?" "Um..." "Hey babe." Trisha turned around. "Thought you weren't coming." "Hi Tom!" Trisha said. "I'm so glad I finally caught up with you!" She turned to Buster. "Thanks for your help, kid." Then Trisha and Tom walked off and exited the restaurant. Buster deflated and sat back down between Fifi and Babs. "Tom..." he muttered, "What kind of a dumb name is that?" "A lot better than Buster," Babs glowered. "Wha-?" "Yeah, Buster...you know, I am sick of you melting over every hot girl you see! If you want to find someone better looking than me, just do it! Because I'm tired of having you embarrass me in public like this!" Babs threw her slice of pizza down on her plate and shoved her way out of the booth. Furious, she marched out of the diner. Buster sat, in shock. "What did I do?" he cried out. "Well, Buster, you weren't very nice to her, or some junk," Shirley said, the disapproval obvious in her voice. "Vous were, 'ow you say, not very considerate of her feelingz," Fifi added. "Aw, don't worry about it Buster. She'll get over it," Plucky said. "And in the meantime, we can go check out the Tunnel of Doom!" "Yeah," Buster muttered disconsolately, poking at the now-cold pizza. ***** Babs stormed along the Nature Park's pathway. She was no longer interested in looking at the beautiful scenery; she was mad! All she wanted to do was go and sit somewhere for a while and sulk. That Buster...he thought he could just look at girls all the time and totally ignore her...what if Babs hadn't been there? What was Buster doing when she wasn't around, watching? All sorts of thoughts flooded into her head and her anger grew hot again. Boy, if she ever caught him... Babs' thoughts were interrupted as her left foot caught on a tree root, sending her sprawling. She gave a little gasp as she saw the ground rushing up to meet her, when suddenly a pair of brown hands grabbed her by the arms and hoisted her back up again. Babs found herself face to face with a brown rabbit, about Buster's age but a few inches taller. She and Buster were the same height. The brown rabbit's big black eyes were full of concern as he asked her, "Are you okay?" Babs shook her head to clear it and said, "I think so. Thanks." To her surprise, the brown rabbit didn't release his hold on her. Instead he said to her, in a warm and kindly tone, "My name's Bryan Bunny. What's your name?" "Babs. Babs Bunny. No relation!" she automatically added. "What?" "Oh...um...never mind. Thanks for helping me out, there," Babs said, at the same time gently removing his hands from her shoulders. Bryan dropped his hands and asked, "Hey, are you doing anything?" "What? You mean right now? No, I guess not," Babs said regretfully, thinking of all the fun she'd be having with her friends right now if only she hadn't gotten so mad. Now that she thought about it, maybe she'd been too mean to Buster. After all, he couldn't help the adolescent hormones. Bryan broke into her thoughts, "Do you want to join me for a carrot shake? My treat." Thinking more about how to apologize to Buster, Babs absent-mindedly shrugged and said, "Okay, sure." "This way. I hear the Shake Shoppe has great desserts," Bryan said, unexpectedly offering her his arm. Babs, feeling suddenly light, slipped her arm into his and off they went. ***** "Bustair! Look! Zat looks like fun, non?" Fifi was pointing to an exciting-looking roller coaster called Really Scary Coaster. "Not much for zee name, though," she added as an afterthought. Buster gazed up at the coaster, craning his neck as far back as it would go. "Wow," he murmured inaudibly. "What are we waiting for! Let's ride it!" Plucky shouted, racing toward the line and trying to cut past toons that had been there for well over an hour. "Like, wait up, Plucky!" Shirley said, floating after him with Fifi and Hamton behind her. Buster sighed, wondering where Babs was, and wishing for the millionth time that he wasn't a teenager who couldn't help drooling at the sight of long legs. He slowly got in line with the rest of the gang. ***** "Wow, Babs, you are really talented!" "Thank yoooooooooou," Babs said, bowing slightly. She did a spin change back to her normal self. "I also do a great Joan Rivers!" she said smugly. "I'll have to see that one, but some other time," Bryan said, "Because here are our drinks!" He handed her a double-scoop carrot float. "Cheers!" he said, raising his glass. Babs clinked her glass against his. She sipped some of her float and sighed, leaning back in the wicker chair. The Shake Shoppe was all done in a beach motif, complete with palm trees. "How come a talented young rabbit like yourself doesn't have a boyfriend?" Bryan asked her. "Huh?" Babs said, taken off guard. "I mean, I found you by yourself. You wouldn't be by yourself if you had a boyfriend, right?" "I guess not," Babs said uneasily. Bryan thought she didn't have a boyfriend? Well, Babs thought, do I have a boyfriend, or not? Buster and I never really made it official...but we've kissed before, so does that make us an item? Or was it sort of a friendship thing? But he loves me, so he's my boyfriend! Or does he...did Buster ever say he loved me? Babs was overwhelmed with thoughts. In the meantime, Bryan had continued gabbing, "...and I thought you were hurt, so I grabbed you to help you up, and when I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen..." "What was that?" Babs asked. Bryan swallowed. "I said...I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." He suddenly appeared shy, and stared at the wicker tabletop, his finger nervously tracing patterns across it, his other hand tightly touching his drink. Babs reached her hand out and lifted his chin until he was looking into her eyes. "Thank you," she said. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." Bryan looked relieved. Babs took her hand back from under his chin and said, "Hey, why don't we go catch up with my friends? I'd love to introduce you to them." "Oh, you came here with people?" "Yeah, I just...uh...sort of went off for a walk," Babs lied. "I'm sure we can find them around. Come on!" she said, bounding out of her chair. ***** "No!" "That's four dollars and fifty cents you owe me, Pluckster," Buster said, extending a gloved hand. "Pay up." "One more game," Plucky said through gritted teeth. "I bet you TEN DOLLARS I beat you this time!" "Plucky, if you keep this up, you'll be bankrupt in five minutes," Buster said coolly. The toons were in the Theme Park's video arcade, and Plucky was getting beat to pieces, as usual. Plucky had challenged Buster to a game of Super Pluckyo Brothers, and his egocentric ways were getting him deeper and deeper in debt. Once again, Buster expertly defeated Plucky, and the poor duck began molting in his consternation. "Give me one more chance! I'll beat you! I know I will!" "I hate to see a grown duck cry," Buster said with false pity, "Or almost grown." "Come on! Off my quarter!" "Give it up, Plucky. Besides, my thumb's going numb from the past half hour. I need a break." "So you quit! I win by default!" "Nice try," Buster sauntered off to a corner where Shirley was engrossed in a fortuneteller game. "I want to see if it comes up with the same thing I did!" Shirley explained, inserting a quarter and chanting, "Owa...taloo...niam." Buster shrugged and looked around the room. He spotted Fifi and Hamton engaging in a friendly competition of Skee-Ball, and Plucky was still cursing the machine he'd lost to. Suddenly, through the doorway walked a certain Barbara Anne Bunny. Sighing with relief that she didn't look mad, Buster began walking over to her but stopped short when a brown bunny entered the room and stood beside her. The brown rabbit was clad in an orange shirt rather like Buster's own, except he was wearing khaki pants as well. The rabbit didn't have any white gloves on, either. Shocked, Buster gaped at the newcomer, and Babs spotted him. She waved and walked over to him, the brown bunny close behind. "Hey Buster!" she said. Turning to the brown rabbit, she began the introductions, "Bryan Bunny, meet Buster Bunny, my best friend. Buster, this is Bryan. I met him in the Nature Park." Buster, still dazed, extended his hand. As he limply shook Bryan's, he mumbled, "No relation." "You people keep saying that..." Bryan said. Buster took his hand back and said, "So, um, Bryan...do you go to Acme Loo, because I've never seen you around there." Bryan laughed. "Oh no, I'm from Burbank. I just came here to visit the new park." "Oh, so you'll be leaving soon?" Buster said meaningfully. "Uh..." Bryan faltered. Babs jumped in, "So, Buster, what have you guys been up to?" "Nothing much," Buster said, not really feeling like having a conversation with this Bryan character around. "Babs, could I speak to you privately?" Before she could answer, Buster placed a vice-like grip on her arm and forcefully dragged her behind a nearby pinball machine. "Buster, what was that all about!" Babs said. "Babsy, I know you're mad at me, but this is really low..." "What are you talking about?!" "Admit it. You're trying to get even with me for drooling over that Trisha or whatever her name was." "What? No! I was walking through the park, and I fell. Bryan was nice enough to help me up! Come on, Buster, you'll like him! He's a nice guy..." Babs explained, "Now will you let go of my arm? You're hurting me." Buster looked at her stonily for a few seconds before releasing her wrist. Babs massaged it thoroughly. "Sorry," Buster mumbled. "S'ok," Babs said, "Now let's get back there before Bryan feels totally insulted!" The pair walked back to the brown rabbit. By this time, Shirley, Fifi, Plucky, and Hamton were showing an interest in this newcomer to Acme Acres. Babs introduced Bryan to everyone and they all mumbled some sort of response. Plucky cast Buster a sorrowful look that clearly read, "Look what you've done now!" Buster looked at the ground. ***** It was some comfort to Buster that Babs still sat next to him on the rides. Bryan sat behind them, with a tall fat guy sitting next to him. But Buster noticed Bryan always managed to snag the spot directly behind Babs...well, maybe he was just imagining things. Maybe he wasn't intentionally doing that. Still...nagging doubts entered Buster's mind. Babs felt sorry for Bryan. Poor guy came down from Burbank, with no friends, and had to be sweltering in those dumb pants! Still...the pants were rather cute, she thought. She tried to envision them on Buster, but it didn't work. Old Blue Ears just wasn't a pants type of guy. Shirley tried to get a clear look at Bryan's aura, but for some reason, a greater force blocked her powers. Barely penetrating that, she thought she heard a tiny voice, crying for help. She considered warning Babs about this, but decided to keep quiet until she had more information to go on. At any rate, she was keeping an eye on Bryan. Fifi thought Bryan was cute. However, she wasn't particularly keen on rabbits. Plucky was sure Buster's days with Babs were numbered. He made it a point to continuously remind Buster of this "fact". He also asked when they were going to ride the Tunnel of Doom. Hamton liked Bryan; he seemed a decent fellow. Bryan was content. It was all going as planned. Eventually, the kids grew hungry again and were ready for a snack. They stopped at a snack bar and went in. Buster couldn't get his quarters into the vending machine. When he finally managed to force one in, the stupid snack got caught on the way down. Buster tried everything: beating the machine, using a jackhammer, swiping at it with a mallet, dropping 10-ton weights on it, but nothing was working. Bryan walked up, and with an almost Fonzie-like expression on his face, gave the machine a bink with his fist. The snack slid out and Buster took it, eyeing Bryan. He really didn't like that guy... Buster walked over to the table the other kids were at, unhappily unwrapping his treat, and plonked into the seat next to Shirley. Shirley, sensing his unhappiness at Bryan, whispered into one of his long ears, "Just between you and me, Buster, I like, totally don't trust that guy." "You're not the first," Buster grumbled. Babs put some quarters into a machine and got a carrot soda, popping it open, she walked over to where the other guys were seated, but Bryan intercepted her, turning her around to face him. "Hey, Babsy," he said, "Can we go outside? I'd like to talk to you." Babs looked over her shoulder at Buster and called, "Hey Buster, we'll be right back!" While her back was turned, Bryan slipped something into her drink. Babs turned back to Bryan. "Okay, come on, Brown Ears," she giggled, realizing she bestowed the pet name commonly reserved for Buster on this newcomer. She walked out beside him, drinking her soda as she went. As they sat down on a bench, Babs felt curiously odd, like she was floating. She gazed up at Bryan. He is so handsome! she thought. Suddenly she found herself wondering how he kissed...and somewhere in the back of her mind, a tiny voice was shouting, "This isn't right! What's wrong with you?" Bryan stroked her ear, and Babs looked at him dreamily, her eyes changing to little red hearts. Bryan smiled inwardly. Without warning, Bryan leaned over to her and kissed her, very long and passionately. Inside Babs, that tiny voice pleaded, "Buster! Help me! He's done something to me!" But the rest of Babs kissed him back. ***** "The Fun House? That's just for little kids!" Plucky scoffed. Buster inwardly agreed with Plucky, but wanted to keep an eye on a certain pink rabbit. "I know, Plucky, but come on! It won't be that bad," he said over his shoulder as he walked into the large, deformed structure. Plucky groaned and quacked angrily to himself as he walked in behind Buster. "I still want to ride the Tunnel of Doom," he muttered. Babs was sliding up and down the slanted floors, shouting, "This is so much fun, you guys!" "Rope it in, Babsy. Let's just go through this thing, already," Buster muttered, grabbing Babs by the arm and dragging her to the next room. "Wait!" Babs cried, "We have to wait for Bryan!" "He'll catch up," Buster continued dragging Babs. "NO!" Babs screamed. She flung herself down on the floor and gripped a table leg. "I'm not going anywhere until Bryan shows up!" she began kicking, throwing a regular tantrum! "Babs!" Buster said, shocked. What was this? Suddenly, the brown rabbit strolled casually through the door. Babs snapped up, instantly happy, and flung herself at Bryan. "Hey!" Babs said, stroking his long ears. Bryan pried himself loose from Babs, looking at Buster. "What's got into her?" Bryan asked. "I'm not sure," Buster was genuinely concerned, and also jealous. What did Babs see in this guy, anyway? Just because he happened to wear pants... Buster walked into the mirror room and glumly looked at several distorted reflections of him. As he was examining one that made him appear tall and masculine, he saw a smaller figure sneak up behind him. He turned around to come face to face with Dot Warner. "Oh, hey Dot," Buster said with false cheer in his voice. Dot actually looked worried. "Hey," she said in a disenchanted tone. She stood beside Buster for several minutes without speaking before piping up, "Buster, have you seen my brothers? I can't find them!" "Really?" Buster asked, "No, I haven't seen them." "Oh," Dot said shortly. "When did you lose track of them?" "We were running along, trying to get away from Ralph the guard, and I was ahead of them. When I turned back, they were gone. Ralph too. I haven't seen any of them since!" "Wow," Buster said, confused. "Maybe they all ran a different way." "I guess so," Dot muttered. "It's just not any fun without them!" "I know what you mean," Buster confided. He sighed for the millionth time that day. ***** Bryan led Babs to another room in the Fun House. Babs was still rather dazed, and still very love-struck with Bryan, all an after-effect of the stuff he'd put in her drink. She willingly followed him, blind to everything but him. He clasped her hand in one of his own and gently led her on, into the Maze Room. "Come on, Babs, let's try and figure our way out of here!" he encouraged her. Babs giggled like a little girl and walked beside him. She felt dizzy but happy, almost giddy, like she'd stayed up until 4:00 AM on caffeine alone. She didn't notice Bryan leaning up against a wall with a clown painted on it. He reached up and placed his free paw on the clown's nose. Suddenly, the floor beneath the two rabbits dropped out and Babs found herself sliding down a tunnel. However, as she was still drugged, she didn't think to call for help. Instead, she merrily clapped her hands and murmured, "Whee!" before collapsing into a deep and much-needed sleep, sliding further down the tunnel as she slumbered. ***** Yakko Warner struggled against the shackles binding his wrists to the cold stone walls. His efforts were getting him nowhere, however. The shackles were simply too tough for even the craftiest of the Warners to wriggle out of. He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. He looked to his left to see his little brother napping, bound in a similar predicament. "Psst!" Yakko hissed at him. "Psst!" Wakko wasn't waking up for anything, so Yakko screamed out, "HEY WAKKO!!" Wakko snapped his eyes open and looked at his big brother. "Hi," he said sleepily, yawning. "Wakko, we have to get out of here!" "Why?" "Because it's really boring being chained to a wall." "It's not so bad. Gives me a chance to nap." "Do you have your gag bag?" Wakko slipped his hand out of his shackle and felt under his cap. "Nope," he said glumly, slipping his hand back into the shackle. Yakko slid out one of his own hands and scratched his head. "Hmm...these things are too strong to break free from....you don't have your gag bag...what if we applied some basic toon physics?" Yakko suddenly noticed his free hand. "Well, what do you know?" The door to their cell creaked open and a brown rabbit walked in, cradling a familiar pink bunny in his arms. Yakko put his hand back where it belonged and watched curiously. Another door opened slowly, and a diminutive figure in a black shroud walked in. The background music became ominous, and green fog began rolling in. "Nice touch," murmured Yakko. The brown rabbit laid the still form of the female rabbit before the cloaked figure. The dark figure looked up at the young rabbit and said, "Excellent work, my apprentice. Our plan is nearly complete. We have captured an essential member of the enemy's army. The others will soon follow the same path. Victory is ours!" The background music reached a dramatic crescendo, with lots of clanging cymbals. "Shut that off!" the cloaked one yelled. The London Symphony Orchestra, which had been playing in the far corner of the room, glanced up. The conductor turned red, broke his baton over his knees, and told the group to pack it up. "Now," the dark figure continued to the rabbit, "Take her into the really nasty cell down the hall. The one with the giant cockroaches." The pink rabbit shuddered subconsciously. "That cell? But my lord..." "Do as I say, slave!" the figure commanded, clapping his hands together. Bright lights suddenly illuminated the cell. "Oops," the figure muttered, clapping his hands again to turn them off, and then snapping his fingers together. The brown rabbit in turn snapped to attention. "Good lad." "Yes master," the brown rabbit said, bending down to pick up the pink bunny, "I will do as you command. I have no will of my own...I am a patsy..." he walked out of the room. The dark figure moved toward the Warner Brothers. "You two were key elements in my plan for global conquest. I already had captured the other Animaniacs," he said, "And now I have the popular Babs Bunny. You watch and see...Buster will not continue without his precious Babs, and wherever he goes, the other weakling Tiny Toons follow. Soon I will have them all! And then my plan will be complete, do you hear me, complete!" the dark figure shouted in Yakko's face. "Whoa, buddy," Yakko coughed, "Have a Tic-Tac!" "Oh. Thank you," the cloaked figure said, accepting the mint. "Where was I?" "Something about your plan being complete?" prompted Wakko. "Oh yes...thank you. Once I have captured the rest of them, primetime will be ours!" the dark figure shouted, throwing back his cape. Upon seeing his face, Yakko and Wakko Warner gasped in horror. ***** "Ugh..." Babs groaned. She ached all over! Plus, she was freezing cold. Where the heck was she, anyway? Babs opened her eyes to a nearly pitch-dark room. A small beam of light was streaming through a barred window in a door...bars? That was weird. From her slumped position against a stone wall, she tried to sit up properly, but the pain was too great. Her head felt as though it was going to explode. "Geez," she muttered, "Did I O.D. on carrot soda, or what?" The last thing she remembered was getting that soda in the snack bar, and Bryan asked her to come outside and talk to her...now suddenly she was here? "What's going on?!" she shouted aloud, from pure frustration. "Egad, Brain, who was that?" "Quiet, Pinky. I must devise a plan to get us out of here." Babs' eyes began searching the darkness to find the source of the voices. That Cockney accent sounded awfully familiar... She noticed movement to her left, and saw two well-known white lab mice chained to the wall beside her. The taller one waved. "Do you guys know how to get out of here?" Babs hissed, "First of all, do you know what's going on?" "Ooh, we were walking along and then we weren't, because we got chained to a wall! Poit!" Pinky said. "Allow me to rephrase my partner's poor explanation. We were putting plan 2765-F into operation, and it required an internal combustion engine, which we were attempting to extract from a bumper car when our plans were foiled by a young brown rabbit," The Brain said. "Ah," Babs said. "A young brown rabbit, huh? I'll show him...as soon as I get out of here." "Narf! Why, d'you know him, Babs?" "You might say that..." The cell door abruptly creaked open, flooding the room with light. Babs, Pinky, and The Brain squinted in the sudden luminosity of the room. The brown rabbit walked in. "Naaaarf! There he is, Brain! Troz!" "Once again, your grasp of the obvious astounds me, Pinky." Bryan smiled malignly at the three, and said in a trancelike voice, "My master has asked me to inform you he will be arriving shortly." "What? You obey a master? I thought you were from Burbank!" Babs shouted. Bryan did not reply. Instead, he walked toward the open door, peering out for some sign of his "master". "The things that happen at these low-grade theme parks," Babs muttered, shaking her head. Bryan stepped back, allowing a small, cloaked person to walk into the room. The cloaked person walked up to Babs and said, "At last I have the popular and well-loved Babs. It is a...pleasure...meeting you face to face." "What are you on?" Babs growled. "My plan is nearly complete! I have you, the Warners, and these two rodents," Pinky and The Brain cringed at that, "who might have taken over the world before me, left to their own devices." Brain looked pleased at this comment. "Uh-huh. So how did I get so lucky to be here?" Babs asked. "Why, everyone in Acme Acres is crazy about you. They'll want to know where you wandered off. And then, I'll trap them! Is that a great plan, or what?" "It could be better," Brain said. "Who are you, anyway?" Babs asked. "Now, now. Everything will be revealed in the final act. It's in the bad guys' contract to do so, you know." "Of course," agreed Babs. "Bryan, move the other toons into this main cell. Buster and the others will be arriving shortly." "Yes," Bryan said, dazed. Within moments, he returned to the room with the Warner brothers, who looked stricken. He chained them on the wall to Babs' right and left the room for the other prisoners. "Yakko! Wakko!" Babs cried, "Guys, what happened to you? You look awful!" Wakko didn't answer. He was too busy humming 'Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's Off to Work We Go' and whistling. Yakko looked bleary-eyed at Babs. "It was awful! Oh, the horror! The horror!" and he fainted. Babs was shocked. It took a lot to upset Yakko Warner. The cloaked guy might be Baloney, or that nanny from the Austrian musical...Babs' head began to ache again. What was causing that? It felt like a hangover. Memories were coming back to her, very cloudy ones. She was in the snack bar with her soda, and popped the lid to take a sip. Bryan asked her to come with him. She turned around to tell Buster... That was it! Her drink! Bryan must have put something in it. Babs concentrated, trying desperately to remember what happened next. They went outside and sat down...Bryan was leaning close to her...and Babs felt funny. She...(did she?)...KISSED him? "Yuck!" Babs thought. It was that rabbit's fault that she was here now! What would she have done that? The drug, perhaps. It must have had something in it to dull her senses and her feelings. But what would Buster think? Her best bunny might be considerably angry over this... Babs sighed and sank to the floor, her head pounding. If she ever saw Buster again, it would be right here, bound and shackled, in a prison controlled by a cloaked maniac and a psychotic master-serving rabbit. ***** "Fifi, I am getting some mondo bad karma," Shirley said uneasily. "What ees wrong, Shirlee?" "Like, I'm not sure...where's Babs?" Shirley suddenly asked. "Babs?" Fifi was confused. She looked around here. "Babs deed not come zees way with us. She was with Bryan, remember?" "But, I haven't like seen either one of them since we came into the Fun House," Shirley was really worried now. "Do you think something happened to them, or some junk?" "Oh, I am certain zey are just, 'ow you say, wandairing around zee place," Fifi consoled her. "We weel see zem soonair or latair." "I guess...what the?!" Shirley stopped short. She felt cold suddenly. "I am getting some mondo bad vibes about this..." "Why?" Fifi asked, just as the floor dropped out from under them, sending the girls sliding down a dark chute. The floor panel above them swung shut, keeping their screams from being heard. ***** "Babs!" Buster yelled impatiently. "BAAAABS!" "Give it up, Buster. She ran off with that one guy." "Rope it in, Plucky," Buster muttered, irritated with that green duck. "Hey, if you need a new co-host..." "Plucky, she didn't run off! Anyway, if I needed a new co-host, I'd take anyone over you! Even Binky Bunny!" Buster stormed down the hallway. Plucky stood, agape. "How do you like that?" he muttered. "He'll be sorry he didn't pick me when the ratings go down!". From far off down the hallway, he could hear Buster's persistent yelling, "Babs! Where are you? Everyone else wants to leave!" Plucky kicked the flooring, wondering if they would ever get to ride the Tunnel of Doom, and wandered to the Hall of Mirrors. He found Hamton standing before one that made him appear tall and lanky. Hamton was admiring himself from every angle. "Hi, Plucky," he said. "Buster find the girls yet?" "What do you mean, the girls? I thought Babs was the only one missing." "I haven't been able to find Fifi. And don't you know where Shirley is?" "Oh, probably projecting herself to a higher plane of consciousness somewhere," Plucky said, looking at his tall reflection. Suddenly, he noticed a button next to the mirror. "I wonder what this does?" he said to himself, pressing it. The mirror flopped open, revealing a tunnel. Plucky was impressed. "I wonder where it leads to?" he asked aloud. "Want to find out, Hammy?" But before the nervous pig could answer, the floor jolted up sharply, titling them into the tunnel. They rolled head over heels down the dark passage, screaming as the mirror swung shut behind them, shrouding them in complete darkness. ***** "BARBARA ANNE BUNNY!" Silence. This was getting WAAAY too much like the horror of Slumber Party Mountain! A certain blue rabbit thought thought. Buster scratched his head. Normally, that call would have brought Babs running to him, arms outstretched, ready to fling him to the floor and wring his neck. She must be out of earshot...like maybe in China. Or, Buster thought slowly, underground. The Fun House was a big place, maybe it had a basement or something and she'd gotten lost in it. Buster decided to investigate. He rounded the corner and came face to face with a stairwell, leading down, with a great number of signs around it saying "LOOK DOWN HERE" and "BABS IS IN HERE". "Well, that makes it easy," Buster said, "*Too* easy." He stealthily crept down the stairwell, moving as quietly as possible. Not a sound was heard (save for the dramatic background music) as he slipped like a shadow across the stairs. However, his foot suddenly touched a well-concealed button on a step, triggering the Acme 2000 Security Alarm, which promptly began blaring at a level of 100 decibels. Red lights began flashing and robotic guard dogs were released from wall panels, sniffing around with electronic sensors. Locating Buster, they let out a mechanical "Bark, bark" and went after him. Buster darted down the stairs at speeds only rabbits can attain, dodging flying knives, flamethrowers, and fat-free pudding bars. He slipped quickly around a corner at the bottom of the stairwell. The mechanical dogs sped by him, heading further into a dark corridor. Buster paused for a moment, catching his breath. The alarm system shut off, leaving him in tense, ear-ringing silence. Presently, the background music started up again, and Buster heaved a sigh of relief. He walked down the dark corridor. It was really dank down there; the air was so moist Buster felt it was smothering him. He paused to wipe the sweat from his brow before continuing. It seemed he had walked for ages when he finally heard a familiar "WAAAAAAAH!". "That's Babsy all right," he said to himself, "No one else screams like that!" Convinced that his favorite pink bunny was nearby, he quickened his pace, disappearing further down the darkened tunnel. ***** "You'll never get away with this! You just wait! Buster is coming to save us!" Babs shouted angrily. "Oh, I know he is. He tripped my security alarm a few minutes ago. It's only a matter of time before he walks into the trap I so carefully baited for him," the cloaked figure said, and then began giggling hysterically. When he giggled, he sounded like he'd been sucking on helium. Babs sat back defiantly. All her friends were in there now...Shirley, Fifi, Hamton, Plucky...the former two Bryan had led into the cell, already bound and shackled, the latter two had fallen right through a hole in the ceiling and landed into a cage. The dank cell was now very crowded: the entire cast of Tiny Toons (save Buster) was chained, caged, or shackled in the room. Dizzy Devil was completely wrapped in chains to prevent him from eating through them. The littler Toons were in a small birdcage...Sweetie, Bookworm, and Little Sneezer. Sneezer had his mouth taped shut. Even the intelligent Calamity Coyote was there, trussed up like a Christmas package only inches away from his adversary Little Beeper, whose sneakers had been removed. In addition to the Tiny Toons, the cast of Animaniacs was there, similarly bound. Yakko and Wakko were still babbling incoherently from their previous experience of seeing the Cloaked One unmasked. Pinky was babbling incoherently, but that wasn't particularly unusual. Slappy Squirrel was trying to reach her purse to break out the dynamite, but it was out of her range. It didn't look good... Bryan Bunny was standing over next the shrouded figure, silent, his eyes still glazed over. He's a complete zombie, Babs Bunny thought. Babs actually felt sorry for him; she had a feeling that this was all way beyond his control. The Cloaked One moved to the center of the room. The toons grew silent and stared disgustedly at this diminutive psychotic being with delusions of grandeur who had somehow managed to outwit them all. The figure stood, silent, before whipping off his cloak with a majestic flourish. Yakko and Wakko Warner screamed in horror, shielding their eyes. Babs gaped, then gasped, and then joined the uproarious screaming. "No! It couldn't be!" Plucky shouted. Mickey Mouse stood amidst a pile of black clothing, laughing fiendishly in that mind-numbing giggle. "Surprise!" he squealed. "You!" Babs growled, "But why..." Before Mickey Mouse could respond, the two rabbits from the diner, Trisha and Tom, entered the room. The toons were amazed when they suddenly unzipped the fronts of their outfits. Stepping out from the peach-colored rabbit suit was Darkwing Duck, and from the other rabbit suit came Goofy. "So, like, who's that?" Shirley asked, pointing at Bryan, "Donald Duck?" "Actually, Bryan is a Warner toon. We had to have someone real enough to lure certain toons," Mickey said pointedly. Babs cringed, remembering that kiss under the influence... She shook her head, "Why are you doing this?" Darkwing glared at her, "You're stealing all the good time slots!" "Yeah, Tiny Toons isn't the only good show about teenage toons! Hyuk," Goofy said. "Oh yeah, Goof Troop, whoop-de-doo." Babs said sardonically. "At least Tiny Toons got decent airtime in syndication." "Well, *our* movie actually went to theaters," Goofy said smugly. Mickey and Darkwing applauded. "Ours had 18 different plots! Yours had one, trite, MORALISTIC plot!" Babs shot back. The Tiny Toons burst forth in louder applause, along with some cheering, horn blowing, and flying confetti. "Oh, this is just wasting time, anyway," Mickey said briskly, "Let's get to the point...we're locking you up in the Warner Brothers' water tower..." "Oh, that'll hold us for a long time...I'd say, two, three minutes," Yakko said, grinning. "...And then we're wrapping it in chains, putting it in a large wooden crate, sealing the entire thing in a concrete block, and tossing it into the Mariana Trench." "That would hold us considerably longer," Yakko said, not grinning. "Like, you are so totally not going to get away with this!" shouted Shirley. "I'll sue!" shouted Montana Max, locked in a cage. The three Disney toons laughed maniacally. "Soon, primetime will be ours once more!" "When was it yours the first time?" Babs asked. Suddenly, the cell doors burst open. "Not so fast!" shouted a familiar blue rabbit. "Buster!" Babs cried out. "Ah, Buster! The last toon who could interfere with our takeover," Mickey said, "Grab him!" Goofy moved in toward Buster, who nimbly stepped to the side and pulled a rope. A 16-ton weight fell out of nowhere and crushed Goofy flat. "Hey, I didn't install that!" Mickey shouted, enraged. "Disney toons don't use weights!" "I know," Buster said smugly. Darkwing Duck began heading toward Buster, chains in hand. Buster whipped out his water pistol and aimed at Darkwing. The freezing cold water immobilized the duck. Mickey whirled around, yelling for the back-up troops. Huey, Dewie, and Louie from Duck Tales pranced into the room, talking in their annoying little voices. Buster was paralyzed by the sound of their voices and fell to the ground. He tried to cover his ears, but his efforts were not met with success. He went limp on the floor, gasping, "Make it stop, make it stop!" Mickey Mouse walked over and patted the three ducklings on the head. "Good work, boys," he said, giggling. "Thanks, Unca Mickey!" they responded in unison. "For the millionth time, I am not your uncle, okay?! Geez..." muttered Mickey, tying Buster Bunny up. He dragged the still blue form over to where Babs was chained, her arms (and ears) shackled to the wall above her head. "Here's your weakling boyfriend," Mickey giggled, tossing the limp form across Babs' lap. Mickey turned and walked away. Buster groaned and opened his eyes. "Where am I?" he asked, blinking. He noticed he was lying in a supine position over Babs' lap, and she was chained to the wall. "Heaven!" he murmured, gazing at her. Then he became aware that he was tied up in ropes. "Nevermind..." he grumbled. "Buster," Babs hissed, "See if you can stretch your ears up to the top of my head and find a hairpin. Buster obliged, stretching his ear as far as it would go. He navigated it around Babs' forehead until he felt something small, cold, and metallic. His ear wrapped around it and pulled away a shiny silver hairpin. Babs didn't need to tell him what to next. He moved the hairpin to her shackles, freeing her hands. She took the hairpin from him and unlocked her ears. Next, she began quickly unwrapping Buster from his ropes. Mickey Mouse was still turned, apparently thinking about something. He did not notice the two rabbits sneaking up on him from behind. Buster and Babs were just about to throttle Mickey when Bryan Bunny, who had been so silent everyone had forgotten he was still in the room, gave a shout of warning. "Master..." he began. In a flash, Buster threw himself on Mickey, forcing him to the ground. Buster grabbed Mickey's arms and pinned him, but the mouse was not easy to hold onto. He kept thrashing about wildly, shouting. "Babs! Quick! Unlock the others!" Buster shouted. Babs ran back to the wall, snatching up the hairpin she had discarded on the floor.. She was about to free Shirley when a hand grabbed her shoulder, wrenching her away. The hand spun her around and she came face to face with Bryan Bunny, who glared at her with stony eyes. "You've displeased the Master," he said in a cold, emotionless voice. "That would be the general idea, yes," Babs said in a strangled voice, wincing from the grip on her shoulder. He squeezed harder, and Babs cried out, sinking to the floor. "Let her go!" Buster shouted, turning his attention away from the vile mouse. In that moment, Mickey kicked with all his strength and sent Buster halfway across the room. Buster landed with a loud "OOF!" on the cold stone floor. Mickey yelled at Bryan. "Hurry! Tie her up! I'll handle this one." Buster was already standing up, but looking pretty weak. His legs wobbled and he stared dazedly at Mickey, who was approaching with a mallet. Buster was caught by surprise. "I thought you Disney toons didn't go for excessive violence." Mickey shrugged. "Hey, I work with what I have." "STOP!" came a voice from the far side of the room. Buster, Mickey, and Bryan all turned and looked for the source of the voice. Babs collapsed on the ground, gripping her shoulder, her face contorted in pain. "Who the he...who are you?" Mickey stammered. "I," said the voice, "am Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca...The Third! Hit it, boys!" A group of incredibly good looking men in tuxedos came strolling in from another door, snapping their fingers and singing, "Cute, cute, cute, oh isn't she cute, cute, cute." Dot Warner stepped completely through the cell door and into a spotlight beam. She began spinning around, her pink skirt standing out when she did so. She skipped around the room, scattering flower petals, turning cartwheels, petting a puppy, and doing other cute things. Mickey stood, agape. "Who the heck are you?" "I'm the Warner sister!" Dot said, beaming radiantly (and very cutely). "But...but...but no one said anything about a Warner sister!" Mickey said, glaring at the Warner Brothers, who shrugged innocently. "They always forget to mention little old me," Dot reflected sadly. Mickey shook his head abruptly. "Well, never mind. Bryan, get her!" Bryan Bunny stood motionless. "Bryan!" Bryan looked at Mickey, with a very confused expression on his brown and tan features. "Bryan!" Mickey shouted, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small device. Pressing it quickly, he said, "Get her! NOW!" Bryan sprang into action. He began walking swiftly toward Dot, who was standing, hands on her hips, and complaining that no one was acknowledging her cuteness. She saw Bryan coming for her and dodged out of his path. Two of the tuxedo-clad singers grabbed Bryan. Dot walked over to Mickey and said, "Oh, you have a pet bunny. I have a pet too!" She whipped out a small white box and popped the lid off. A huge, awful looking thing (it was, in fact, Jerry Lewis) sprang out and yelled, "Hey Mickey!" "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Mickey screamed, backing away and covering his face with his hands. Dot pulled out another white box, opening it to release the Abominable Snowman, who grabbed Mickey and said, "I'm gonna hug him and squeeze him and call him George." Petting Mickey's head, he ran out of the room. As they left, the small device that had been in Mickey's pocket fell to the ground. Buster snatched it up. Dot, satisfied with a job well done, instructed her tuxedo-clad men to begin unlocking the other prisoners. "The Evil Bad Guy's Mind Controller, requires 2 AA batteries," Buster read the label on the small device, "Who'd have thought ol' Mickey would resort to something so low!" Buster clicked the switch to off, then ran over to where Babs was lying on the floor. Bryan Bunny stiffened. His eyes bugged open, and then his body relaxed entirely. He blinked several times, and then shook his head to clear it. "What? Where am I?" he asked, dazedly. He looked around the room and saw that one cute puppy-like girl unlocking the other toons, with help from guys who looked like clothed Chippendales. Bryan continued to scan the room, and saw two familiar rabbits. The pink one was trying to get up from the floor, and the blue one was helping. Bryan was in shock...he remembered grabbing her shoulder and practically wrenching it off. He ran over to them. "Babs!" he cried out, memory of the past day returning to him. That scrawny little mouse, boy, when he got his hands on him... Babs had managed to get into a standing position, leaning heavily on Buster for support. "Bryan!" she gasped, shying away. "Babsy, it's okay," Buster said, holding forth the mind controller. "He was being controlled with this!" Bryan looked at the small device. He remembered entering the Acme Acres Theme Park that morning and seeing a lone figure, dressed like a little boy, sitting disconsolately on a park bench and crying. "What's wrong, little boy?" Bryan had asked. The boy had looked up, showing him that same small device and said, "My toy's busted." And Bryan had knelt down beside him, looking with interest at the small black thing. Suddenly, the little boy had flipped a switch on the black box, and Bryan had felt his fur stand on end, his body going completely rigid. The little boy unzipped his front and revealed himself as Mickey Mouse, saying, "You're mine now. As far as you're concerned, I am Master..." Bryan wrenched the device from Buster's hand and flung it to the stone floor. He crushed it beneath his large feet. Buster and Babs watched, feeling truly sorry for the poor guy. Bryan stared at the floor and the smashed remnants of the device that had nearly made him responsible for the "disappearance" of several famous toons. He bit his lip as a stray tear crept down his cheek. He felt a warm hand brushing the tear away and lifting his face up, bringing his eyes even with Babs Bunny's. "I...I would have killed you!" Bryan gasped, "I was hurting you, but I couldn't control it! I don't know what I would have done if...if that..." "Hey, it didn't," Babs said, gently. "It wasn't your fault." "I know...but I feel awful. Especially about slipping the Tylenol PM and Love Potion #9 in your carrot soda." "What?" "We'll talk later, Buster," Babs said shortly. She turned back to Bryan and hugged him. When they pulled away, the look in Bryan's eyes was one of sheer gratitude for her forgiveness. "Thanks," he said. He glanced at his watch. "I have to get going. I need to be back in Burbank before my parents start worrying that I've been abducted by a psychotic Disney character and practically brainwashed." He smiled. "Thanks again. And if you ever visit Burbank, look me up." "You bet," said Babs. "And if you ever visit Acme Acres, look us up," Buster added. "We're the only high schoolers who live in burrows." Bryan nodded and left. The other toons that had been imprisoned were beginning to leave. Babs and Buster watched as two recognizable genetically-altered lab mice walked past their feet. "Come, Pinky. We must return to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night." "Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!" Yakko, Wakko, and Dot grouped together and sang, "They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!" And they escorted the two lab mice out. Shirley and Fifi unlocked the cage Hamton and Plucky were in, and the quartet walked over to Babs and Buster Bunny. "Like, what now?" Shirley asked. "Well," Plucky said thoughtfully, "We never did ride the Tunnel of Doom..." "I'm hungry," Hamton mourned. ***** The Nature Park was even prettier at dusk. Buster and Babs sat together on the wooden bench by the pond, watching the sun setting against the water, the rolling hills, the tall trees, and the Ferris wheel. They listened to the crickets chirping and birds twittering, and the faint sound of amusement park patrons screaming in the distance. Babs sighed and leaned back against the bench. She felt a slight pressure on her shoulder, and turning, saw a white glove resting there. Smiling, she leaned closer to Buster until her head was resting against his shoulder. They sat in companionable silence as the sun sank further, turning a deep shade of orange. They were silent as the first stars began to twinkle and dusk turned into twilight. The moon came out, large and white, illuminating the pond. Buster stood up abruptly. "Come on, let's go," he said, walking on the path. Babs, indignant of this sudden end to what might have soon escalated into a romantic evening, did not follow. Instead, she walked down to the water's edge and sat down in the grass, gazing intently at the rippling pond. Buster noticed Babs was not walking alongside him. He turned around and saw her sitting at the edge of the pond. Sighing, he walked back over to her. "Babsy?" he asked. "Are you coming?" She didn't answer. She continued gazing serenely at the pond. Buster flopped down on his stomach in the grass next to her. "We've been looking at this pond for the past hour. Don't you want to go home? We can get a shake at Weenie Burger, and maybe catch a late movie or something. How about it? Babs?" "I was thinking..." Babs started. "Wow." Babs ignored that. "Bryan asked me earlier today if I had a boyfriend, and I said no." Buster was silent. Now he was gazing intently at the water. Babs turned to him. "Was I right?" The silence continued, with the exception of the screaming tourists. Finally, after an eternity of (moderate) silence, Buster pulled himself into a sitting position. "You were right," he agreed, not looking at her. Babs' face fell, and she turned her attention back to the pond. "Barbara Anne Bunny..." Buster began. "Don't." "Okay, Babsy...I know we've never really made a commitment, or announced it to everyone, or even said it between ourselves. I always thought it was a mutual understanding." "Well, sometimes a girl has to hear it. Even if it is sort of silently understood." "Sometimes a guy has to hear it too. So let's make it official." Buster turned to her, taking her hands in his. "Babs, will you be my girlfriend? Officially, legally binding, or whatever?" Babs grinned. "Of course. Buster, will you be my official, no-strings-attached, pantless boyfriend?" "Of course." Babs stood up. "Then let's shake on it, to make it truly authorized, endorsed, and certified." She extended a pink paw. "I can do better than that," Buster said, standing up beside her. As he did, Babs noticed he was a little taller than her after all. Well, not counting ears...but she was gazing *up* into his eyes... While she was thinking about this, Buster grabbed both her extended hand and the one hanging limply at her side. Pulling her close to him, he wrapped his arms around her and planted a long kiss on her. Babs stood, amazed. Buster grinned. "Now was that better than old Bryan, or what?" "For sure! Anyway, you promised not to bring that up again," Babs said. "Sorry. Can I make it up to you?" "I can think of one way..." they kissed again, this time even longer, until a beam of light half blinded them. Pulling away abruptly, they glared at the source of the light beam. Plucky aimed the flashlight lower toward the ground as he walked up to them. "There you are! We finally found you guys! The Tunnel of Doom was great! You have no idea what you missed while sitting over here by this dumb pond." "Plucky, pipe down," Shirley said, who was walking next to him. "Plucky? Are vous ovair here?" Fifi and Hamton came traipsing through the brush and flowerbeds. "Oh, zere vous are!" Fifi said, seeing Buster and Babs. "Anybody hungry yet?" Hamton asked. "Guys, come on! There's still an hour before the park closes. We can ride the Tunnel of Doom again!" Plucky shouted, running off. "Like, come on, Plucky, that ride is such a mondo dragdola!" Shirley said, who had assumed the lotus position and was all ready to meditate. She floated after him. "Oui," Fifi said. "But it was bettair zen zee bumpair cars. Come with us, Bustair and Babs." She and Hamton walked off. Buster sighed. Turning to Babs, he said, "I guess we might as well ride a few more rides and get our money's worth out of this place." Babs put her hand in his. "I already got more than I paid for, Blue Ears." "Yeah, because I bought your ticket." "Hey, I know a good bargain when I see one." "Hey," Buster started, "I hear the Tunnel of Doom is really dark inside..." Buster broke off and he and Babs stared at each other, giddy expressions forming on their faces. Running to catch up with the gang, they shouted out, "We got dibs on the back seat!" Fin.