AbDUCKed.
			By ? the Platypus
			(David Formosa dformosa@st.nepean.uws.edu.au)

	Shirley floated into Weenie Burgers and calmly landed in front
of  Babs' and Buster's table,   

	  "I've like got mondo bad news, Plucky's been kidnapped."

	  "Not this plot again!" Said Buster.
	
	  "Yeah," said Babs "it's the old 'A toon has been kidnapped and the
rest of us run around like headless hens and try to find him.'"

	  "Can't the fanfic authors think of something more interesting then
this?"

	  "Have you noticed lots of these stores start in an eating
establishment?"

	Hamton looked up from his burger,

	  "Don't knock it Buster."

	Shirley put her hands on her hips

	  "Like hello people,  It's me who's meant to be the centre of  
attention,  it's like my not quite a boyfriend that's like vanished into
the aether or some junk."

	  "Oh, Sorry Shirl," said Buster "I got carried away back there.  
O.K. Back to the story,  how do you know he's missing?"

	  "We were like going to have a like a date but he sort of didn't
come."

	  "Typical male." Spat out Babs.

	  "When," asked Buster "have I ever stood you up?"

	  "April the 15th we were going bowling you never turned up."

	  "I had a run in with Elmyra."

	  "Oh sure," said Babs and turned away.

	  "Like everybody."

	  "Sorry Shirl."

	  "When he like, stood me up I was like, so angry that I sort of did
a phycic search or some junk -- But I couldn't find him. It's mondo strange,
I mean Plucky's ego's like so huge the swamp-duck can be sensed for klicks
around or some junk."

	  "We," said Buster "should search his room."

	  "To find out who took him?"  Asked Babs

	  "So we can like get clues to where he's been taken or some
junk?" Asked Shirley.

	  "No because I've always wanted to search his room."

	Later in Plucky's room,

	  "Anvil,  Miscellaneous Acme products,  White paint,  Picture of
Plucky,  Fluff,  Some green feathers,  Shards of eggshell,  Some dirty white
singlets."  Said Buster from underneath Plucky's bed.

	Babs opened the top draw,

	  "Loose change,  threatening letter,  fake ID, threatening letter,
Shirley McLoon model sheet,  threatening letter,  A few floppies, threatening
letter,  Playtoon warterfowl edition, threatening letter,  yo-yo."  she
looked up.

	  "Nothing interesting in here."

	Shirley picked up the pillow,  an angelic chord rung out, 
golden light briefly filled the room.

	  "Plucky's Halo" she said with reverence, "He never goes anywhere
without it."

	Babs looked at the Halo, everybody knew about Plucky's Halo.  It
was one of those artifacts, like Babs' pocket wardrobe, which had been given
to the toons early in there lives and were closely linked to their
fundamental natures.

	She picked it up and placed it upon her head.

	  "Babs don't." Shouted Shirley.

	The Halo floated above her head making her look incredibly innocent. 
Thoughts floated into her head,

	  "I could do anything now and get away with it,  No one would
suspect me,  I look so innocent and cute, There is no-one that can stop
me..."

	Babs was slammed against the wall.  She picked herself up and
looked about, Shirley was pointing a smoking finger at her and holding the
now dormant Halo.  Around her Plucky's room was decimated,  Buster was 
tied up in his own ears, Hamton was draped over the light stand, the 
walls where spray painted various ghastly colors,

	  "What happened?" Babs asked,

	  "You did,  the Halo is like mega dangerous, That's why it was given
to Plucky."

	  "PLUCKY?!" Said the Bunny's together,

	  "I" said Buster "wouldn't trust him with a slinky."

	  "But that's like the point,  Plucky's like so mondo untrustworthy
it counteracts the false innocence it generates or some junk.  I'll like hide
it under the pillow."

	As Shirley stepped towards the bed,  The Halo glowed and began to
shrink.  It got smaller and smaller until it became a ring about her
finger.

	  "It's like stuck,  major drag."

	  "OK, back to the main plot." Said Buster "Lets have a look at those
threatening letters."

	Buster picked up one of the letters.

	  "Plucky," he read "if you don't pay your bill, I'll take your
bill.
		Signed Montana Max."

	They headed off to Montana's house.

*************************************************************
		ACME ALLITERATING ADVERTISER

	Wedded Webfoot Wacks Weporter With Window

		Toon star Shirley the Loon was seen leaving 
the house of "close friend"  Plucky Duck with a golden ring 
on her finger.  Is this a wedding band?  Has Shirley married 
Plucky?  Is this why he has gone into hiding?

		When a reporter from this news paper asked
these reasonable questions Miss (or is that Mrs) Loon struck
him with a window.  The reporter is in pain.
*************************************************************

	  "Mon-Ney"  Rang the door bell.

	The door opened and Montana looked out.

	  "Whattaya want."

	  "Where's Plucky" asked Buster.

	Babs spin changed into a hard nosed PI.

	  "Yeah, where yah hiding the duck?"

	  "I," said Max "don't know where your stinking duck is.  That
red-head drip could have him,  and If yah find him I want my money back."

	He slammed the door.  Acting on the hidden plot instruction the
troop rushed to Elmyra's house.  They knocked,

	  "Oooh cute little huggy wuggys come to visit.  We'll have lots of
fun, we can play tea parties and hug each outher and ..."

	  "Elmyra have you seen Plucky?" asked Buster

	  "Who?" asked Elmyra

	Babs span, a few sceconds later and she was almost exactly the 
same as Elmyra,

	  "Ooooh another me,  aren't I the cutest."

	  "You seen a cuty green ducky wucky?" said Babs

	  "No just a little white ducky wucky like yours.  I want
your ducky."

	Elmyra picked up a mallet from behind the door and swung it at
Babs' head,
	
	     THUMP
	     
	  "Ooooh cutey little sound words."  Elmyra turned to the audience
(A difficult task in a fanfic) "Or onomatopoeia to be exact."

	     THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
	   
	  "Oooh more cutey sound words, I can make lots of pretty sound
words." said Elmyra driving Babsy into the soft earth.
	   
	     THUMP THUMP THUMP CLANG
	
	Buster removed his anvil from Elmyra's head.  And offered his
hand to the bruised bunny,

	  "Need a hand M'lady?"
	
	Babs swiched on her refined lady voice,
	
	  "Why thank you kind sir,  You are indeed a gentleman and a scholar."
	  
	  "Not at all, its is an honour to help one as fine as you."
	  
	  "Tee Hee." Quoth She.
	  
	  "We like better get out of here before, Elmyra like regains
consciousness or some junk."

	They turned their backs on Elmyra and headed towards Acme Hill.
They sat down on the grassy mound, looked down at Acme Acers and watched
the community continue as normal.

	  "Plucky could like be anywhere in there."
	  
	Suddely a light bulb lit up above Buster's head.  He turned
away from the group and looked down on the city.

	  "You know exactly where he is don't you PLUCKY"
	
	With that he swiveled around on his foot and shot 'Shirley' with
his water pistol.  The white paint dissolved and the blond wig fell off.

	  "I'm like not Plucky I'm Shirley" said Plucky.
	  
	  "Give it up Plucky" said Babs "We all know its really you."
	  
	  "If," said Hamton "Plucky's here where is Shirley?"
	  
	  "I'm like here." said Plucky.
	  
	  "Elmyra said that she had a white duck.  She could be the one
who has Shirley."

	  "Like everbody stop talking about me in the third person or
some junk." said Plucky.

	With Plucky in tow the toons rushed back to the Duff residence. 
Once there they debated how to get into the house,

	  "How about we tunnel our way in." said Buster,
	  
	  "Why don't we use this open door." said Hamton pointing to the
back door.

	  "Why don't I disguise myself as Elmyra and get her parents to
let us in." said Babs

	  "Why don't we use the open door." said Hamton.
	  
	  "We like don't need to go in and get Shirley becase I'm Shirley."
said Plucky.

	  "The open door." said Hamton.
	  
	  "We could always go in the back door." said Babs.
	  
	  "I'm not much of a back door person myself." said Buster.
	  
	In single file the toons crept thought the door and past the
Elmyra who still was out cold from the run-in with Buster's anvil.  Babs
pointed to Elmrya's door.  It had a poster from that dreadfull
Austrailan export "Zucchinis in Bikinis."
	  
	Buster opened the door and thay entered the room carefully
checking for booby traps.  Shirley was lying on a dirty wooden floor. Even
for a white loon Shirl looked pale.  Plucky knelt and cradled her head in
his arms.

	  "Elmyra didn't like even provide her enough water to dip her head
in to prevent eye infections or some junk." said Plucky

	  "That" said Babs "is the last time I'm staring in a fanfic after
the author has read 'Poultry Keeper' magazine."

	Plucky stared at Shirley,  "If she's Shirley then I must be..."
Plucky stood up in a trance,  Shirley's aura stepped out
of Plucky and returned to her Body.

	Shirley's eye blinked to life.
	
	  "Plucky." said Shirley weakly.
	  
	Plucky bent over to listen to Shirley.
	
	  "Come closer please."
	
	Plucky placed his ear close to Shirley's mouth.  Weakly she said
	
	  "Plucky I'll only tell you this once..."  *WHAM*  Plucky
recieved a solid blow to the chin, throwing him against the wall.

	  "...Don't ever ever do that again."
	  
	Shirley picked herself up,  then collasped.  Buster and Babs
helped her up,

	  "What happened?" asked Buster.
	  
	  "That person who I'm lot going to name dressed up like me. 
And when returning from my excursions to the like higher planes I got
like confused and went into his body." said Shirley "It was like
horrible,  I could see into his memories, his dark secret things, his
dreams and fantasies or some junk."

	Shirley shuddered and turned towards Plucky,
	
	  "Your body is as a temple you sould like keep it pure."
	  
	Plucky groggerly opened his eyes said,
	
	  "Il Porcupino Nil Sodomy Est."
	  
	and collasped.
		  
		The End.