"Aw, Have a Heart"Writtten by: Mike Cote (E-Mail Mikote@aol.com, formerly COTEWEST)The following story is Copyright 1994 by Mike Cote.  This document may not be revised from it's original form without the express written consent of the author (that's me).  All "TINY TOON ADVENTURES" characters' names are Copyright 1993 by Warner Bros., Inc.; used WITHOUT permission.It is suggested that this story be read no more than once every four hours, not to exceed six readings a day unless under the advice of a physician.  It is not intended for children under two years of age.It's time to speak up, America, and take back the United States Congress.  I urge you to vote for the following Senate candidates in your state for the General Election on November 8th:  Oregon - Fifi (She has not appeared much at debates, as she keeps getting fondled at them by Robert Packwood); Massachusetts - Dr. Gene Splicer (Hey, he's NOT Ted Kennedy);  Virginia -  The Iodizer (Hey, he's NOT Oliver North);  and New Mexico - Montana Max (Hey, he's not either one of them!)  No aminals were harmed in the writing of this story.Okay, okay, I'll start the story!  Geez!


     It had been a long, hard winter in Acme Acres.  It snowed and snowed almost nonstop from the middle of November through New Year's Day.  By the beginning of February the snow had began to melt, and all over the town life could be seen renewing itself, as it so often does in a town full of rabbits.  The old French proverb so often holds true, "In the spring, a young man's fancy turns to love", and so it was in Acme Acres.  The Sweetheart's Dance was but a few days away, and the available young toons prepared themselves for what was sure to be a night full of romance.
     It was lunchtime on Monday of the week of the Sweetheart's Dance, and Babs, Shirley and Fifi were busily chomping away at their midday meal in the school cafeteria.  There was excessive amounts of gossip, giggling and other mindless chatter going on when finally the subject of the dance was brought up."Wow, like, I just can't wait for Friday,"  said an ecstatic Shirley.  "Plucky and I are going out, and we're gonna totally party!  So, like, what are your plans for Friday, Fifi?" asked Shirley to her skunkette pal.
     "Oh, it eez going to be wonderful," said a dreamy-eyed Fifi.  "Moi handsome hunk of pig eez going to peeck me up in a limo, and drive me off to some big, trendy cafe for deener, zen we are going to..."
     Fifi was interrupted by a loud porcine belch coming from the other end of the cafeteria.  The burp went on for eight seconds when it finally subsided, and was replaced by hoots and laughter eminating from the "Male Pride" table.
     "Way to go, Hammy," yelled an exuberant Plucky.  "That one beats your old record by two point one seconds!  Anybody wanna try and beat that one?!"
     Fifi and Shirley turned to their friends and flashed her big, toothy smiles of embarassment. "Or not," said a rather dissapointed Fifi and Shirley simultaneously as they put their chins heavily on their hands.
     Just then, Buster walked by, carrying his luncheon tray past the girls' table to the "macho" table, doing his best not to be spotted by Babs.  Buster hung his head down a bit, trying to watch Babs out of the corner of his eye."Don't look at her, don't look at her," Buster mumbled to himself as he passed by the table, unnoticed by Babs, Shirley or Fifi.  "Just a few more feet to go..."
     Suddenly Buster's lunch, the house specialty bar-b-q rib sandwich, seeing it's chance, leaped off Buster's tray and made a break to the exit and to freedom, yelling: "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!" catching everyone's attention in the dining room.
     Buster frowned, more out of disappointment of losing his midday susitnance than out of surprise.  "That's three days in a row I've lost my lunch!"  Buster grumbled to himself.  To make matters worse, several other sandwiches and side-orders began a mass exodus from the bondage of the cafeteria, following Buster's lunch's lead.
     Just then Pete Puma bolted out of the kitchen, meat cleaver in hand, and yelled:  "Duhhhhhh, what's goin' on out here?  Who is the leader of this revolting lunch?"
     A carton of month old milk stood up and proclaimed: "I am!"
    Soon after, a lime Jello and banana dessert cried out: "No, I am!"
    Within seconds, every piece of food bought from the cafeteria was claiming to have been the mastermind behind the breakout, obviously to protect their noble leader.  Pete, along with some other kitchen help, quickly had the situation under control, and marched the rebellious entrees back into the kitchen.  
    Buster looked around the room and saw everyone in the school staring at him.  Buster hung his head down even further and continued toward the table.
    Babs finally spotted her beau and called out to him: "Hey, Buster!"
    Buster turned his head toward her, turned his head back without acknowledgement, and continued on his way toward Hamton and Plucky's table without even breaking his stride.
   "Why that no-good little...", Babs started to yell,  "he's putting it off until the last minute to ask me, again!  He's been avoiding me all week!  He even broke off our plans for yesterday!  We were supposed to have an intamite little picnic in the forest!  I've had just about enough of him!" Babs slammed her fist on the table and ground her teeth.  She stood up and  was about to go over and tell Buster what she thought of him and his questionable lineage, when Shirley and Fifi forceably sat her back down.
    "Like, take it easy, Babs,"  Shirley told her rabbit pal, "Buster's just a little shy.  You should, like,  totally know that by now."
    Babs rolled her eyes toward the spitwad-covered ceiling of the lunchroom and let out a sigh.  "I guess you're right," she told her pals as she laid her heavy head on the simulated wood table, "but I just can't get him to open up to me and trust me."
    Shirley and Fifi sat with Babs, and the three silently contemplated the bunny's dilemma.  Suddenly, the master of love Fifi, leaped to her feet and yelled: "Oui, I have an idea!"  Fifi leaned over and whispered something in Babs's ear, while Shirley listened to the plan through Babs's other ear.
    Babs smiled widely at the skunk's suggestion.  "Wow!" Babs exclaimed,  "That's so crazy..."
    "...It just might work," answered back everyone in the lunchroom, in unison.
    "All right, girls, let's try it!"  Babs yelled as the three females rushed out of the cafeteria just prior to the beginning of a thirty-seven-second-long belch let out by Wakko Warner, a ringer visiting the school that day, accompanied by Fowlmouth.
    "Heh heh", laughed Fowlmouth to Plucky, who moments before had put his money where his mouth was, "dat's twenty-five (bleeping) dollars you owe me!"
    "The check's in the mail," gnarled a disgruntled Plucky as he whacked Hamton in the back of the head.  "Nice goin', ham-brain!"
    After the lunch break, everyone at Acme Looniversity headed back to class.  During the passing period, Buster went to his locker, dusted off his Toon Physics 121 book, and dragged himself to class.  As soon as Buster had walked out of earshot, Babs, Shirley and Fifi rushed over to Buster's locker.  In Babs's hand was a do-it-yourself St. Valentine's Day card, printed out especially for her lovebunny. "Great idea, Fifi," said Babs as she shoved the card into one of the slots in Buster's locker doors.  "If this doesn't work, nothing will!"  she said deviously, as the three girls went to class.
     Babs impatiently sat through her last two classes of the day, giving Buster ample opportunity to express back to her his reaction to the card.  Maybe, just maybe, Babs thought to herself instead of listening to Yosemite Sam go on and on about whatever he was supposed to be teaching, that since she had really opened up to Buster, he would do the same thing for her.
    Meanwhile, Buster had left his class to visit the little bunny's room.  On his way out, he was run over by a red, black and blue blur flying into the washroom yelling:  "Look out!  Potty Emergency!!!"
    As Buster got up off the floor and went back to class (in no particular hurry), he strolled past his locker and noticed the corner of a mysterious card hanging through one of the slots in the door.  Buster opened his locker, removed the card, and began reading it.A few lines in, and Buster could not believe what he was reading.  In the card, Babs plainly spelled out her exact feelings for him, mixed in with just a hint of lasciviousness.  Buster got down to the end of the card, which read: "I want to know what you feel for me Buster, and I don't want to wait to find out.  I'm coming by your house this afternoon at 4:00.  You better be there!"
    Buster tugged at his collar.  "Uh-oh,"  Buster thought to himself.  "How am I going to tell her?  And more importantly, will she understand and accept it, or will she try and.......maybe I should just think nice thoughts."
    The school day ended a few short minutes later.  Buster wasted no time in getting as far away from the campus as possible, so not to have any unnecessary contact with Babs.  He raced home as fast as his rabbit's feet could carry him, and slammed the hatch to his hole shut.  He looked at his watch.  "Three-forty five?!  Babs is going to be here in fifteen minutes!!"  Buster began pacing the floor of his hutch, and sweating literal bullets in the process.
    Back at the Looniversity, Babs was on her way out, headed to Buster's house.  As she walked out of the door, she saw the girl's Track and Field team stretching on the front lawn.  She was on her way out when she saw Shirley getting in tune for track practice by doing a karmic chant.
    The Loon broke out of her trance momentarily as Babs walked by."So, are you, like, going to Buster's now, or some junk?"  asked Shirl.
    "Uh-huh," answered Babs somewhat guardedly.
    "Don't worry, Babs, if Buster's aura is aligned with his cosmic center, he will realize that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him, or some junk."
    "Thanks," said Babs, not understanding much of what Shirley had said, but nevertheless feeling reassured.
    Just then a gorgeous female rabbit accidentally bumped into Babs."Oh, I'm sorry,"  she said to Babs, "I guess I wasn't watching where I was going."
    Babs looked up at this rabbit whom she had never seen before.  She was nearly a head taller than her, and puberty (to quote Brain) had been inordinately kind to her."Don't worry about it," Babs whispered to her, feeling somewhat inadequate.
    The rabbit jogged off, and Babs turned to Shirley."Who is that?" Babs whispered to Shirley.
    "Oh, that's Ramona Rabbit.  She transfered here at the beginning of the semester from the Acme Modeling School downtown.  Like, someone was telling me that she was the body double of Roger Rabbit's wife in 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'."
    "Well, I've got to be going,"  Babs told Shirley as she looked at her watch.  "I don't want to keep Buster waiting too long."
    Over at Buster's house, Buster was still busily pacing the floor, which was now littered by Buster's fingernail bitings.  The clock on the wall struck 3:59, and out of it popped Gogo Dodo in Koo-koo clock fashion. "Koo-koo, koo-koo!  If you tell Babs the truth, you're koo-koo!"  Gogo went back into the clock, leaving Buster to sweat the last minute out alone.
    "What are you gonna do?  What is she gonna say?  What is she gonna do?  How soon does the next ship leave for Fiji?"  Buster thought to himself.  The situation was getting worse and worse in his mind.  Finally Buster made a decision.  He would just come out and tell Babs.  "That's the only thing I  can do!"  He said to himself emphatically.  "I can't keep this from her forever!"
     The clock struck four, and Babs knocked on the door.  A weak "come in" came from below, and Babs climbed down the hole.She saw Buster sitting on the couch with his feet brought into his chest.  He smiled nervously at Babs."Hi ya, Babs,"  said Buster faintly.  "How was your day?"
     "Buster...isn't there something you want to tell me?"
     Buster began trembling all over.  His teeth chattered uncontrollably.  Sweat poured out from both sleeves onto the floor.  "This is it," Buster thought to himself.He leaped off the couch and fell on his knees to the ground.  "BABS, I'M IN LOVE!"  he screached out as he buried his face in his hands.
     That's all Babs needed to hear.  She rushed over to Buster and caught him in a huge embrace.  "I knew it!"  she yelled joyfully.  But her sudden onrush of joy was quickly disspelled as Buster ducked out of her embrace.
     "But....not just with you," he said sheepishly.
     Babs's jaw dropped down onto the floor.  She picked it up and put it back into it's sockets.  "What?!!!"
     "I didn't know how to tell you," said Buster, as Babs's menacing shadow crept up on him.  "I wasn't looking for someone else, it just sort of happened, honest!"
     Babs began to growl and foam at the mouth as she stomped toward Buster, poised to strike.  "Who is she?!"  yelled Babs.
    "Well, let me explain first," Buster told the irate bunny as he backed away from her.  "I was on my way to school last Thursday..."  Buster, out of desperation imagined the scenario he was explaining, and soon a flashback was forming.
    "Oh, no, you're not getting out of this with a flashback, blue ears," growled Babs.
    "Too late," said Buster, thinking back to this fateful day when he was dragging himself off to his morning classes.  "You see, while I was going to class, I was walking by the Looniversity Track, and then I saw her.  It was Ramona Rabbit.  She has got the greatest...
    "Buster's flashback was suddenly cut off by two pink hands grasping him by the throat. 
    "Babs," Buster coughed out, "listen for one minute!"
    Babs let go, more concerned about her fingernails than Buster's well-being."All right, you've got one minute to plead your case.  And no flashbacks!"
    "I wanted to tell you, Babs, but..."  Buster was interrupted by a knock on his door.
    Babs grabbed Buster by the shirtcollar and escorted him over to answer the door.  Babs opened the door, and much to her dismay, she saw Ramona standing before her.
    "Hi," said Ramona, "are you Buster's sister?  Is Buster home?"
    Buster's memory was suddenly jarred, for only now did he remember that he had in fact invited Ramona over after track practice.  "Oops," Buster said quietly to himself.  Buster stepped up to the door and smiled sheepishly at Ramona.  "Uh, heh heh, hi Ramona!"
    Ramona smiled at him.  "I'm sorry I can't stay, I have to finish my paper on nuclear radiology for tomorrow.  I just came by to thank you for the wonderful picnic you took me on yesterday!  I'll see you at school tomorrow!"  She leaned over and pecked him on the cheek before leaving.
    "Oh, I'm not sure Buster'll be going to school tomorrow,"  said Babs quietly. She grabbed Buster by the throat and dragged him back inside the burrow. For the next few minutes, only the collidings of blunt objects on bones could be heard from Buster's abode, before Babs climbed out of the hole.
     Buster, now in heavy bandages, stuck his head out, trying to get Babs to listen."Babs, just let me say one thing," pleaded Buster, but before he could say one word, Babs dropped Buster's solid steel hole cover right on his head.  Babs stormed off, too angry to speak.  "Well," philosophized a rather groggy Buster, "she took that better than I thought she would." Buster sank down slowly into his hole.
     Babs got home, not sure whether she was fuming mad, or ready to burst into tears.  She laid down on her bed, still contemplating whether or not to kill Buster, Ramona, or maybe even both of them.  But her cooler head prevailed, and she decided to sleep on it and confront Ramona, the third corner of this love triangle, in the morning.
     Getting to sleep for Babs that night was easier said than done.  She was tossing and turning, questioning her feelings about Buster.  She had loved him since the onset of adolesence, and how is she repaid?  By getting bumped by another, more physically attractive rabbit who was both a scholar and an athlete?  Did Buster really love Ramona, or was this just some immature little infatuation?  Did Buster really love Babs, or was he just hoping to soften the impact?
     The sun rose the next day to the tune of Grieg's "Morning", and Babs prepared herself for the big confrontation with Ramona.  She had already figured out her gameplan: Speak softly, and carry a big mallet.  Babs got dressed and went over to the Looniversity track, where the girl's track team was having it's morning practice.
     Ramona was still stretching her long, shapley legs when Babs casually sauntered over and smiled at her."Oh, hi,"  Ramona greeted her, "you're Buster's sister, aren't you?"
     Babs let out a fake little laugh and replied: "Who, me?  No, no, no.  I am Babs Bunny.  You've heard of me, perhaps?"
     "No, Buster's never mentioned you.
     "Getting more and more annoyed, Babs had to struggle to keep her cool.  "Well, I'm Buster's long time girlfriend, and I would really appreciate it if you left him alone."  There, she had calmly said it.  She was proud of herself for not going too far.
     "Ha!" was Ramona's reply.  "You're the one that lost him, sister!  And with a body like yours, it's no wonder he dropped you for me!"
     Of course you know, this means war!
"Aw, Have a Heart" (Part 2)     I'm afraid I owe everyone an explanation for why two seperate documents were necessary for this story.  Beyond a certain memory count, my computer will not open text files, and the other file was getting close to that point, which would have meant that I couldn't even get to my story, let alone finish it.  Don't ask me why my computer can't open up big text files, 'cause I dunno.  Do you know why?  Let me know!Mike Cote (E-Mail Mikote@aol.com)     P.S.  This document is also Copyright 1994 by Mike Cote, and may not be revised from it's original form unless I say it can.  So (insert "raspberry" noise here).     P.P.S.  Anyone wishing to comment to me about this story (positive or negative, but I would appreciate constructive criticism) may do so through E-Mail, or through the "New Story Forum" folder on the message board.         P.P.P.S.  I need to go P.P.!     Anyway....

     As Ramona left Babs there to dwell on her anger, Shirley came by to greet her. (She had just finshed warming up for her track event, the 100 meter Mantra.)  Shirley noticed something was amiss.
     "Like, what are you doing here this early, Babs?"
     Babs could not answer in anything other than heavy breathing.
     "Babs, are you, like, not centered today, or some junk?"
     Babs calmed down completely, turned to her waterfowl pal and smiled happily.
     "Hey, Shirl, when do you guys have your next track meet?"
     "Oh, that's like, here, this afternoon."
     "Thank you," said Babs happily, as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.  "I'll be there."
     The clock in the tower struck eight, and the Acme Loo student body filed into the building and to class.  Buster, as usual, was only now getting out of his house and racing to school.  About ten minutes after classes had started, Buster zipped into the building and down the hall.  He froze up when he heard Bugs Bunny say: "Hang on there, Buster!"
     Bugs pulled out a carrot and began chomping on it.  "Eh, what's up, doc?  Why are you late again?"
     Buster turned around toward Bugs and thought up a great story.
     "Uh, you see....um....my...dog...ate....my homework...last night...and I was up...all night...redoing it...yeah!  That's what happened!"
     Bugs glared his prize pupil.  "Eh, you tried dat one last week.  I'm pretty sure you don't have a dog, an' I know for a fact dat you don't do homework."
     "No, that's not really what happened," Buster fessed up.  "I couldn't sleep last night.  All I could think about was Babs, and how much I really do love her.  But now I'm in love with her and somebody else."
     "Oh, you mean dat new transfer student, Ramona?"
     Buster was amazed.  "How did you know?"
     "Trust me, kid, you ain't de only one," Bugs said matter-of-factly.
     "But what am I gonna do, Bugs?  I mean, Babs and I have been together for a long time.  We're a team, a unit, we're inseperable.  But ever since I met Ramona, I've started thinking 'why should I just hook myself up with Babs?'  I don't know what to do."
     Bugs scratched his head.  "Well, listen kiddo, you gotta make a choice.  You gotta listen to your feelins an' figure it out for yourself.  Dat's all I can tell ya, kiddo."  Bugs began walking off as Buster stood pondering his dilemma by himself in the hall.  Bugs stopped and added: "Oh, by da way, I'm givin' ya' a detention for bein' late for school.  You'll have to soive it dis afternoon."
     "But, Bugs," protested Buster, "I can't serve a detention this afternoon!  Ramona wants me to be at her track meet this afternoon!"
     "I know," Bugs said slyly as he walked away.
     Buster turned, headed back to class, when he ran headlong into Ramona.  He looked awkwardly at her, feeling both awestruck and guilty.  He retracted a few facial muscles, which Ramona took to be a smile.
     "Hello, Buster,"  she said quietly.
       "Duuuuuuuhhhhhhh......hello!"
     "I was on my way to the library to look up something for a research project.  Care to join me?"
     Buster was dumbfounded.  "Uh...gee, Ramona, that would be...but...I mean... I really gotta get to..."
     His voice trailed off as Ramona began lightly rubbing his ears.  "Please, Buster?  I really don't want to go all by myself."  A wave of pleasure swept over the rabbit's entire person.
     Of course, as with most rabbits his age, Buster followed where his hormones led him, which was to the library with Ramona.  Little did Buster realize, though, that the entire conversation had been eavsdropped upon by Babs, who had been hanging from a light fixture hanging from the ceiling.
     In a fit of rage, Babs leaped down from the ceiling and began removing from her pocket cases of dynamite, an  Acme Two-In-One Vat of Boiling Tar and Feather Set, and a Patriot missle.  She collected her arsenal and started off toward the library.
     Upon reaching the library, she looked up to the top floor and could see Buster staring dreamy-eyed at Ramon while they conversed at a nearby window.  Then Ramona leaned over and gave Buster a long kiss.  This was all Babs could stand.
     In a blur, Babs zipped around the building, connecting detonation devices to her montage of high explosives.  Within seconds, Babs had set up enough explosives around the building to blast a medium-sized South American country off the face of the earth.
     Babs cackled to herself as she leaned over the plunger-style detonator.  "So, it looks like Buster's trying to find his own little piece of heaven!!  Maybe I should just help him along!!!!"
     Babs shoved the plunger 99 percent of the way down to it's contact point, when she stopped cold.  "I can't do it!  I love him!"  Babs, both hurt and embarassed, ran off back inside the main building, leaving Buster and Ramona alone in the library for the balance of the class period.  But before she was out of sight, she was spotted out of the window by Ramona.  A smirk crossed her face as Babs disappeared into the distance.

     Buster struggled through lunchtime in his classes "Black Magic 202", "Old West Simulation Training", and "Drag 119".  By the noon hour, Buster found he had no appetite, and little want of companionship.  He had things to think about.
     Buster walked across campus to a quiet picnic table and sat down.  He cleared his mind, and envisioned himself hooked up with Babs.  "Babs.  Hooked up with Babs......for the rest of my life.....no one else but Babs.....no one in the whole wide world but Babs......no other gorgeous female rabbit who only lives to please me, but Babs......"  It was getting worse in his mind as the minutes flew by.

     Meanwhile, Babs, Shirley, Fifi and their twenty closest girlfriends went to the cafeteria for lunch.  Babs gazed into space while the girls gossiped with each other over every little thing imaginable.  Finally, Shirley and Fifi noticed Babs's lack of interest in the conversation.
     "Like, what's wrong Babs?  I mean, you look like you've lost your best friend, or some junk."
     "Oui!  What is wrong, mon ami?"
     Babs glared at her friends in anger, and let out a loud growl.  When everyone sitting at the table backed away, Babs settled down and apologized.
     "Aw, I'm really sorry, everybody," she explained to the group in a calm voice.  "It's just that....BUSTER'S SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!  CRAZY, I TELL YOU!!!!  AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"     Just then, Ramona swankered into the lunchroom with a mob of male toons walking behind her, many of them whistling, drooling, and proposing matrimony.  Ramona stopped directly in front of the girls' table, and turned toward her fan club.
     "I'm sorry, fellas," she said sympathetically to the crowd as she leaned a little nearer to Babs, "but I've already got a boyfriend.  His name is Buster.  And I treat him like he ought to be treated.  I'm very, VERY nice to him!"
     Ramona walked off, followed by the pack of male toons, leaving Babs to stew in her own anger.  Babs clenched her teeth and began turning a deep red.  Rising thermometers appeared in her eyes and shattered.  Babs's head began to swell, and in her anger, she exploded, leaving the entire luncheonette in flames and ruins.  The blast, coupled with the sounds of dial up fire engines and squirting water had everyone in school rushing toward the cafeteria, except for one student...

       "Babs, Babs, Babs," Buster thought to himself as he remained in his own private reality.  "There's got to be something else other than Babs.  That's what I want.  Something else.  I can't be tied down to just one monogamous relationship my whole life!  I'm young!  Why don't I just play the field?  Anyway, it's not like Babs won't still be there, right?"
      Suddenly, the real world burst in on young Buster.  "But, what if she isn't there?  What if she runs off with some other available bunny?  She would do that too, wouldn't she?!  Just leave me like a block of moldy cheese!  And then she'd probably....but isn't that what I'm doing?  You bet it is!  Hey, who asked you?  You asked me!  Well, who are you?  You know who I am, I'm you!  Oh, yeah..."
     Buster, worn out from his discussion with himself, put his head down and took a long nap.  Lunchtime was long over when Buster awoke.  Realizing what time it was, Buster zapped into the building to his next class.
     Into Foghorn Leghorn's Toon Psychology class walked Buster, nearly twenty minutes late.   Professor Leghorn was less than amused.
     "Ah say boy!  Why in the world are you twenty minutes late?  You know I can cover an awful lot of material in twenty minutes!"  Buster was about to say something.  "Quit flappin' your jaws, boy!  You keep squakin' on and on like that an' your gums are gonna get sunburned!"  Buster sat down without a word.  "Don't keep on talkin' while I'm tryin to talk, boy, there's nothin' worse than somebody that just don't know when ta' shut up!"
     Foggy went back behind his desk and sat down.  "Now I want all you young'uns to read page 139 in your books, an' be prepared to discuss it in two minutes!"
     Buster cracked open the textbook and began reading.  The assigned section was on ambivalence.  "Hmm...."  Buster thought to himself, "maybe I'm just scared.  Maybe I think Babs has been getting too close, and I'm trying to back away from her.  It could be.  It says in the book that 'when toons feel pressure to commit themselves to a loved one, they tend to back away and look for something else.  See any of the 1934 Popeye cartoons'."
     While it might have been a bit of a strech, Buster was not all together sure that he wasn't feeling a little bit of pressure to get closer to Babs.  "Maybe I'm just afraid of what Babs might think if I open up to her too much," the blue bunny thought to himself.
     Buster was so involved in his thought process, he did not even notice Foghorn stand up and yell out: "Time's, ah say, time's up!  All right, what did you get out of the reading?  Buster?"
     Still largely unaware of what was going on, Buster stood up and exclaimed:  "I understand it now!  I'm scared of being intimate with Babs!"  This, of course, brought on a howl of laughter from his classmates.
     Foghorn was puzzled beyond belief.  "What is that, boy?  How can you be scared of bein' intimate with anybody, when you don't even wear pants?!"
     Buster's mind raced furiously.  "I've got to go tell her," Buster thought.  With that he raced out of the classroom and down the hall to Babs's class down at the other end of the building.

     At this time, Babs was in her Drama class watching an impromptu demonstration by her instructor on the intricate features of comedic theory.
     "Now, the spirit of comedy transcends the mortal struggle between man and his identity," rambled on the Instructor, much to everyone's confusion.  "For example...."
     Instructor moved a chair underneath one of the room's light bulb fixtures, and unscrewed the incandescent globe.
     "Oh, LADYYYYYY!  I'm going to need a higher thing to stand on before I can change this boint-out bulb!"  From inside the socket, Wakko Warner squirted out and conked Mr. Instructor over the head with a mallet.
     "Ow, dat hoit my head, an' made the stars jump in my brain around."  Mr. Instructor fell off the chair and onto the floor.  Wakko leaped out from inside the socket to the clapping and cheering of the gladend multitude.
     Wakko took a seat in the classroom next to Babs.  He looked over and could tell her mind was elsewhere.
     "What's the matter?"  Wakko asked the sulking rabbit.
     "I'm having trouble with Buster,"  she answered quietly.
     Wakko scratched his head and thought for a moment.  "I had that same problem once, and d'you know what I did?  I came right out and said what was on my mind and in my heart!  And, know what else?  It worked!"
     Babs was suddenly inspired.  She jumped up out of her seat, grabbed Wakko's hand, and shook vigorously.  "Thank you, Wakko, that's exactly what I'm gonna do!"  Babs rushed out of the classroom to go see Buster.
     Wakko gleamed with satisfaction as he reached into his pocket.  "Yessir, that's what I did, all right!  And we've been soooooo happy ever since!"  From his pocket, he removed a large fishing net, inside of which sat Ariel, "The Little Mermaid", struggling to get out. "Haven't we?"  Ariel slapped him around with her fins and jumped out of the net.
     "Wait,"  Wakko yelled as he ran after her, "we still have to go pick out drapes for the windows!"
     Babs ran down the halls of the Looniversity as fast as her legs could carry her, yelling "Buster!"  Not far down an adjacent hall, Buster streaked toward Babs's classroom simalarly yelling "Babs!"  They each turned a corner and crashed headlong into one another.
     When they both regained their senses, they stared silently at one another for what seemed like hours.  A quiet "Hi, Babs" was all Buster could say as he stared into his true love's eyes, which began to tear up.
     "Buster,  I love you more than anything in the world.  The only thing I want is for you to be happy.  If you really do love Ramona, then I want you to have her."  Babs could say no more.
     Buster stared long and hard at Babs, before taking her hand.  "Babs, I've finally realized that I don't want to be with anyone else.  I want to be with you, now and forever."  Buster and Babs hugged, then got up off the floor.
     In between tears, Babs let out a little laugh of relief.  The two bunnies walked hand-in-hand down the hall, until they were knocked over by a runaway mermaid, and stepped on by Wakko running after her yelling: "...andwhat about that time I saw you naked on that beach?!  Doesn't that mean ANYTHING to you?!"
     Buster and Babs skipped the rest of their afternoon classes and renewed their relationship.  They sat outside on the lawn and discussed everything from the future to why Buster could not open up to Babs.
     Finally, 3:30 came, and Babs walked Buster to detention hall.
     "I'll see you in an hour, Babs,"  said Buster as he turned to go inside.  Then, filled with courage brought about by love, grabbed Babs by the hand and kissed her.  "I'll miss you," he said.
     "Gee, it looks like it!"
     "What are you going to do for the next hour, Babs?"  asked Buster.
     "Oh, don't worry, I've already  got something planned,"  Babs answered deviously.
     Meanwhile, the track meet had already begun, and it was time for Ramona's event, the 10,000 meter steeplechase.  Ramona was stretching out in front of the grandstand.
     Sitting in the stands were Plucky, Hamton, and Fifi.  Hamton seemed a bit too interested in Ramona's stretching excercises for Fifi's  liking  (especially when Ramona reached down and touched her toes while facing away from the crowd), and she expressed her concern by yanking out a huge, wooden mallet and cracking Hamton on the noggin.  Plucky began laughing uproariously.
     "Ha!  That oughtta teach you not to stare at other girls when you're girlfriend's around!  I can stare at Ramona all I want!  Shirley's all the way down on the field!"
     Plucky turned his attention back toward the field, but standing in his line of vision was Shirley.  Plucky gave out a nervous laugh, followed by an "Uh-oh", just before Shirl whacked him over the head with her own mallet.
     Down on the track, the event was just about to start.  The contestants all set their feet on the blocks, and awaited the starting gun.
     As Ramona set her feet on the blocks, she could hear a prominent "squish", but thought nothing of it.  Neither did she pay any heed to the small box sitting next to her, labelled "Acme Plastic Explosives - New and Improved - EXTRA STICKY!"
     The race official (who looked quite a bit like Babs with a fake mustache), wheeled over a shiny, black cannon, lit it's fuse and yelled: "On your mark, get set..."  The official with his (her) foot, tipped the cannon over so that it was pointing directly at Ramona.  "Go"  was heard along with a simultaneous "BLAM!"  from the cannon.  All the contestants were off, save Ramona, who was left burnt and smoldering at the starting line.
     When she gained her composure, Ramona started sprinting to catch up to the others, but her push-off block was still securely stuck to her right foot.  She bounded and tripped along, in a desperate attempt to catch up to everyone else.
     The pack was nearing the first hurdle, with Ramona behind but beginning to catch up.  The runners jumped over the obstacle and dashed off.  But when Ramona prepared to jump the hurdle, it unexplainably lifted another two feet off the ground, tripping Ramona right on her face.
     Despite all these hardships, Ramona began catching up to the pack.  In no time, she was in first place, with only the water obstacle to overcome.
     Ramona saw the water obstacle up ahead, and prepared to leap over it.Suddenly, a crate being held by two pink hands dropped several hungry crocidles into the water.  The crocodiles saw Ramona coming and hid beneath the surface.  When she took her leap, one of the crocodiles lunged at her still-connected push-off block, and tore it off her foot.
     In terror, Ramona pulled her leg away from the crocodiles as she sailed through the air.  She wiped her brow as she reached the apex of her jump.  When she landed, however, the plastic explosives on her shoes blew, leaving only a Ramona ash-heap lying on the track.  Before she could managae to pull herself together, several other competitors ran by.
       Ramona's eyes bugged out of their sockets as Ramona saw the crocs.  She quickly pulled her leg away from the crocodiles as she sailed through the air.  She wiped her brow in relief as she cleared the water obstacle.  When she landed, however, the plastic explosives on her shoes blew, leaving only a Ramona ash-heap lying on the track.  Before she could managae to pull herself together, several other competitors ran by.
     Ramona quickly resumed her regular form and zipped toward the finish line.  She managed to retake the lead as she headed for home.  She felt a wave of exhiliration when her body broke through the finish line tape, but she did not know was that the tape was laced through a series of pullies, which suspended a large "Acme 16 Ton" weight, which dropped squarely on top of Ramona, sending her into the ground.  Meanwhile, on her way out of the complex was a very proud, pink rabbit.
     And so it passed.  The rest of the week Buster spent with Babs, telling her many (though not all) of his private thoughts, worries, and hopes.  Buster and Babs went to the Sweetheart's Dance that Friday along with Plucky, Shirley, Fifi and Hamton, and for the most part, they all had a great time.  (Plucky, of course, did not have as good a time as he wanted, but...)
     After a few weeks, Buster forgot that Ramona had ever existed, focusing his entire affectionate attention on Babs.  Buster realized that what he and Babs had was special, something that doesn't drop by too often, and he never wanted to put that in jeopardy again.
     And what happened to Ramona?  Well, some in Acme Acres say that after she transferred a few days after the fateful track meet, she went on to become a star on the hit TV program "Baywatch",  others speculate she started her own weight-loss program center (with free meals for the first week), but most contend that she went out and joined a monestary, forever swearing off male bunnies with jealous girlfriends.
.............................................THAT'S ALL FOLKS