______________________________________________________ (Author's note: Heylo dere folks! I just keep 'cranking' out these stories one right after another, don't I? Well, I hope you enjoy this story. Before I forget, I would like to recognize and thank HKUriah for posting this story in the TTA Fan-Fic Archives.) On The Road Again by The HellCat Ext. The Acme Acres Junkyard. We are looking at an old tin shack. The building is about 7 feet wide, 8 feet tall, and 10 feet long. In this building, we can see the rear of the DeLorian. In the background, we can hear someone mumbling to themself, and a banging noise. The camera 'pans' to the right, to reveal the old Checker sitting in front of Fifi La Fume's home. Chris Pew is wearing a tattered, and horribly stained pair of brown coveralls, with a hole cut open for his tail. He has the top half of his body under the old cab's hood. Fifi is sitting in the car. Chris (shouting): "O.K. FIFI! TRY IT NOW!" Fifi turns the key, and steps on the starter. *GRRRR---RRR---RRRR---RRR---RRRR* Chris (still shouting): "O.K. !" Fifi turns the key off, leans back in her seat, and sighs. We begin to hear more banging sounds. Fifi looks pretty bored. Fifi (thinking): "True, eet eez a lovely day, but why do ah always end up helping Chrees feex sometheeng? Ah well. C'est la vive!" Presently, Buster and Babs Bunny (no relation) walk into the Junkyard. Babs is carrying a letter in her hand. She walks over next to Chris (yet keeps a rather safe distance). Babs: "Hey, Chris." Chris: "Just a second Babs. O.K. FEEF! TRY IT AGAIN!!!" Fifi once more turns on the ignition key, and 'tromps' on the starter. *GRRRR---RRR-RRRR---RRR---BAM! POOF!* When the explosion occurs, it causes a giant black cloud to engulf the engine, and most of Chris Pew. When the cloud quickly dissipates, he leans back out from under the hood. The top half of his body is covered in black soot. He blinks a couple of times. Babs (snickering): "Ya know, black really is your color." Chris shakes all of the soot off. When he is finished with this, he turns to Babs. Chris: "Sorry, Babs. You were saying. . ." Babs (handing him the letter): "Yeah. This got delivered to my house by mistake. Chris: "Who would be sending _me_ a letter?" The front of the envelope has no return address. It only says To Mr. Chris Pew. After that, it has Houston, Tx; Miami, Fl; and Denver, Co. crossed out. Below those address, it says (naturally) Acme Acres, Ca. (which is _not_ crossed out). He turns the envelope over, and opens it. He pulls out a letter, unfolds it, and begins reading it. While he is doing this, Fifi gets out of the car, and walks over to see what he is doing. Fifi: "What eez eet, mon amour?" Chris: "It's from the guys back in New York, who installed my arm and leg! It says here, that they've relocated to Chicago, and want me to visit them so they can make some adjustments on me." Fifi: "Eef vous are goeeng to Chicago, zen so am ah!" Babs: "Count me in too! I've been stuck in this town for _way_ too long!" Buster: "Wait a minute, Babsie. What about school?" Babs: "What about school?" Buster has a flat look on his face. He is about to open his mouth, when Chris begins talking. Chris: "Don't worry, Buster. I'll take care of that. Now the question is, how do we _get_ there?" Babs (grinning at Buster): "We could fly." With this remark, she gets not only a reaction from Buster, but she gets one from Chris, too. Chris: "Huh-UH! No _way_ are getting _this_ skunk on a plane!" Buster: "Besides Babs, _we_ can't afford plane tickets! We only do fan-fics and cameos." Babs: "Oh, yeah." Fifi: "We could take zee DeLorian." Chris: "Fifi, do you _really_ wanna ride over 1500 miles compacted in that sardine can?" Fifi: "Non. Good point." Chris jumps up, and sits on the grill of the Checker. He places his head in his hands, and begins thinking. The others begin pacing, and trying to think of something as well. Suddenly, the hood of the Checker falls on Chris' head, causing him to fall face-down in the dirt, as little stars begin 'dancing' around his head. The others rush over to help him up. Fifi takes him by the hand, and stands him up. He shakes his head vigorously for a moment, and then regains his sense of balance. Chris: "I've got it!" Babs: "What? A lump?" Buster: "No, I think that qualifies as a massive head injury." Chris (ignoring them): "I have a Buick in storage, that I've been working on for some time now." Buster: "So, uh, when are going?" Chris: "I want to leave town first thing tomorrow morning. I'll be by your place, Buster, at 8:00." Babs: "8:00 am! That's _way_ too early!" Chris: "Hey. Nobody said you can't sleep in the car." Babs: "Good enough. See ya tomorrow, Feef." Fifi: "Au revouir, Babsie." Fade out Fade in Int. Bugs Bunny's office at the Looniversity. Bugs is doing some paperwork at his desk, when Chris knocks on the door. Bugs (not looking up): "It's open." Chris opens the door, walks in, and gently closes the door behind him. Bugs takes off his reading glasses, and looks up at him. He then takes a carrot out from behind his back, and begins munching on it. Bugs: "Eh, what's up doc?" Chris (looking around cautiously as he sits down in a chair opposite Bugs): "Uh, Bugs? You remember when I told you about my, um, er, well..." Bugs (knowing what Chris is referring to): "Yeah, I remember. Why?" Chris (handing Bugs the letter that he got in the mail): "I got this just about an hour ago. I was wondering if you could excuse me for a couple of days." Bugs puts his glasses back on, and then begins reading the letter. Bugs: "Coitanly! Dis is a poifectally good medical excuse." Bugs puts letter down, and takes his glasses back off. Bugs: "Eh, was dere sometin' else?" Chris: "Um, yeah. Since Chicago is so far away, and it's such a long drive. . . could you excuse Buster, Babs, and Fifi to go with me?" Bugs: "Normally, da answer would be no. However, ya has a good case dere, about da trip bein' so long. So, yes. I'll excuse dah tree a dem ta join yas." Chris: "Tanks! Er. . . I mean, thanks, Bugs!" Bugs (smiling): "No problem, doc." Fade out Fade in Ext. An early morning in the Acme Acres Junkyard. We are looking at the same tin shack that we were looking at, at the beginning of this story. The only main difference is, the DeLorian isn't there. Instead, it appears to be empty. We can hear what sounds like a hydraulic lift being operated inside of the rather small building (small for having a lift, anyway). When the sound stops, we hear a rather quiet motor start. Then, Chris Pew slowly pulls out of the dark interior of the shack, in a beautifully restored tan and black 1934 Buick, complete with the extended trunk. He stops directly beside Fifi's Caddy. He then shuts the car off, exits, walks over to Fifi's 'front door', and knocks. She answers the door half asleep in her bathrobe, with curlers in her hair. Fifi (not even realizing who it is, and wincing at the bright outdoors): "Bonjour." She just stares at him for a moment. Suddenly, she 'lights up'. "Chrees? What are vous doeeng here at zees hour?" Chris (flatly, with an unamused look on his face): "Fifi, it's 7:30! I thought you wanted to go to the windy city." Fifi: "Non. Ah want to go to Chicago weeth vous." Chris: "Never mind. Are you packed?" Fifi (looking down at her robe): "Oui! But ah am. . . how you say. . . petite prompete, non?" Chris: "Where's your stuff? I'll put it in the car while you're getting ready." Fifi (rushing inside to ready herself, and pointing to a massive pile of baggage in a far corner of the car): "Eet eez over zere." Chris takes one look at the small mountain, and shakes his head. He begins carrying stuff out to the car, and dumping it into the trunk of the car (the trunk that isn't removable). After unloading the baggage, he walks back into Fifi's. As he is walking in, Fifi has just removed her robe, and slippers. Fifi (covering the front of her body with the robe): "Chrees! Ah am undresseeng!" Chris (stopping in his tracks, he continues looking straight ahead): "If you're naked, then where's your fur?" Fifi: "Ah steel have eet on." Chris (now looking at her): "Were you planning on changing out of it?" Fifi: "Non, why?" Chris (resuming gathering Fifi's stuff): "Then you're not naked, are you?" Fifi (slowly dropping the robe, and looking at herself in the mirror): "Ah suppose not." Chris (outside, putting more bags into the trunk): "So what were you afraid that I might see? You without a bow in your hair?" Fifi (having completely released the robe, and slowly putting her bow on): "Ah don't know. Ah suppose zat was. . . how you say. . . dull?" Chris walks behind Fifi, and places his hands on her shoulders, while she is still looking at herself in the mirror. He gives her a kiss on the cheek. Chris: "I think you mean pointless Feef. If there's _one_ thing that you're not, it's dull!" He then resumes gathering her luggage. Fade out Fade in Ext. Outside Buster's rabbit hole, Chris and Fifi arrive in the car. They both get out, and Chris knocks on Buster's stainless steel door. When Buster answers the door, he is half asleep. Buster: "Yeah?" Chris: "C'mon, Buster. We've gotta get this show on the road!" Buster: "But I thought that Tiny Toons went off of the air years ago." Chris: "It did! I meant, let's get going!" Buster: "Oh, right! C'mon in. I'm going to need your help getting all of Bab's stuff out to the car." Chris (starting down the hole after Buster): "No problem." After Chris is inside, Fifi follows the both of them down. Buster and Babs both look dressed and ready to go (except for the fact that Babs is just sitting on the couch, and staring at the blank T.V. set, totally zoned out). The skunks can smell carrot juice, and burned toast in the air. Chris: "Buster, I've gotta ask you a question. How do you rabbits manage to keep your burrows so well lit? It's just as bright down here, as it is outside!" Buster (holding up a light bulb): "Simple! We use halogen bulbs." Chris gives a us a flat look. Fifi (going over to the exhausted looking rabbit): "Babsie! Are vous ready to go?" Babs ('snapping' out of her 'trance'): "Oh! Hi Fifi! What's up?" Camera wipe to Chris and Buster in Buster's room. There is a giant hill of pink travel luggage. Chris: "And Babs want's to take all of _this_!?! I'll bet she doesn't even use _half_ of this stuff while we're there." Buster: "I know, but she refuses to leave town without _all_of it." Chris (gathering some of the bags together): "We'll just have to see if we have enough room for all of this." Fade out Fade in Ext. Chris is sitting on the extended trunk, as Buster helps him get it latched. We can see patches of pink suitcases here and there, before they manage to get it completely shut. After managing to close the trunk, Chris and Buster both wipe their brows. Chris: "Whew! Man! It sure is a good thing _we_travel light, Buster." Buster: "Yeah, really. I've got a duffel bag. That's all I need." Chris: "Now I know why Babs hasn't been out of town in a while. She could _never_ get all of this stuff into her Mom's K-car." (turning to Buster's hole) "You girls ready yet?" Babs (hopping out of the hole): "Yeah! Let's go!" Fifi follows Babs out of the hole (only _she_ uses the ladder). Buster walks over to his hole, closes the stainless steel lid, and locks it tight. All of the toons get into the car. Chris is driving, Fifi has shotgun, Buster is sitting behind Fifi, and Babs is behind Chris. The only update to the whole car, is that Chris has installed a state-of-the-art car stereo, and mounted it below the dash, leaving the original radio installed. He has also replaced the original shifter knob, with a rose marble one. As he is about to start the car, Babs leans forward in her seat. Babs: "Chris, are you _sure_ this thing is safe to drive on the highway? I mean, it's really old, and. . ." Chris: "Believe me, Babs. I trust this car more on the open road, than any other car I own." Babs leans back in her seat uneasily. Chris turns the key and steps on the starter. Chris (as he is starting the car): "If I didn't know any better Babs, I'd think that you don't trust me." Babs looks worriedly at Buster, as Chris shifts the car into gear and begins pulling away. He gives her a reassured look. Buster: "Don't worry Babsie. Besides, if something happens, we can always just burrow our way home!" Babs appears to be feeling a little bit better with this said. She stretches her arms out, and yawns. Then she lays down with her head in Busters lap, and goes to sleep. Buster strokes her head a couple of times and looks out the window. Buster (to himself): "I hope." Chris pilots the car onto the Californian Interstate, and begins talking to Fifi. Chris: "Okay, Fifi. I'm going to need you to open the road map, and tell me what Interstates to turn on. I've got them marked." Fifi (opening the road map): "Non problem. First vous weel need to take zee right turn onto I" Chris: "No, Fifi. I meant for you to tell me when we get close to them." Fifi (attempting to fold up the road map): "Oh." After about two minutes of struggling with the map, Fifi wads it up, and shoves it into the glove box. She then crosses her arms, and glares out the windshield. Chris: "Sorry if I made ya mad Feef. I didn't mean. . ." Fifi: "Eet's not vous. Eet's zat darn map!" Chris (smiling to himself): "Don't let that get ya down, hon. We've got over 1500 miles to go. So just relax!" Fifi's frown slowly turns into a little smile. She then leans against her door, and silently falls asleep. From an above view we watch car continue down the road, and drive off towards the horizon. The background fades to a large map, with a red line that travels across it (like in an Indiana Jones movie), with a blend of action in the background. As the song "Rescue Me" by Aritha Franklin begins, we can see Chris driving down the Interstate while everybody else is asleep. Then we can see Fifi driving, while Buster and Babs are chatting, and Chris is asleep in shotgun. Now we can see Buster driving, and chatting with Chris (who is still in shotgun), while Fifi and Babs are visiting in the backseat. Next, we see Babs driving. In this scene, Buster is in the backseat behind Babs with his hands over his eyes, while Fifi has her eyes shut tightly, and is holding onto Buster, with her tail wrapped around his waist. Chris is in shotgun (still), with his hands on the dash (obviously for support). All of his fur is standing on-end, and he has a terrified look on his face. Babs, on the other hand, looks like she is having a great time! She has a big smile on her face, and looks kind of like she is playing an exciting video game. The 'flying lady' hood ornament on the car, reaches behind her back, pulls out a small WWII styled army helmet, and puts it on. In the last scene, Chris is driving after dark, with a cup of coffee in his hand. Everyone else in the car is asleep. He slows the car down, turns onto a dirt road, and then parks in a small grove of trees. He shuts the car off, and silently looks at his sleeping friends. He then takes off his jacket, and is about to use it for a blanket, when he looks over at Fifi. She is sleeping in shotgun. She is laying against her door, and is slightly shivering. He looks at her lovingly, and then drapes his coat over her body, like a blanket. She pulls the jacket close, stops shivering, and a small smile forms across her face. Chris then smiles to himself, leans back in his seat, and goes to sleep as the song ends. Fade out Fade in As Chris slowly opens his eyes, he looks around. Something is different. It takes him a moment, but he soon realizes that he is now in the backseat, behind shotgun. Buster is in the front seat driving, with Babs at his side. Chris looks to his left. At this same moment Fifi looks at him. She has been gazing out of her window. Fifi: "Oh! Vous are awake!" Chris (groggily): "Almost. Not quite, but almost." Fifi 'scoots' across the bench seat, and leans close to Chris. He is still on the verge of trying to wake up, but obviously not having much luck at it. Fifi begins stroking his face and neck. Fifi: "Joost try to go back to sleep mon amour." (to Buster). "Are we steel lost Boostair?" Buster: "Yeah, and I'm _still_ not sure just where the heck we are. Is Chris still asleep back there?" Fifi: "He eez joost wakeeng oop. Ah weel do mah best to keep heem. . . how you say. . . coast-mah-toast, oonteel we find zee gas station weeth un coffee machine." Babs: "Don't you mean comatosed?" Buster: "Thanks, Fifi. The last thing I need to worry about right now, is a coffee crazed skunk. Nothing personal, of course." Fifi (still stroking her half asleep, yet obviously blissful boyfriend): "Eet eez O.K. Ah oondairstand." Shortly, Buster passes a huge sign. Chris only has his left eye open, but he just manages to make it out. Chris (to himself): "Wyoming. Like no place on earth." It takes a moment for these words to sink in, but when they do he sits up in his seat, wide-eyed. "WYOMING! Buster, stop this car right now!" From an above view, we watch the car skid off of the road, and come to a screeching halt. Babs opens the glove box, and pulls out the map. They are all trying to read it, as Chris leans forward, and pokes a spot on the map. Chris: "Okay, guys. We're here." He then points to a spot on the map, that is about 200 miles away. "And we're _supposed_ to be over _here_." Buster and Fifi both glare at Babs. She slinks down in her seat, and does her best to look innocent. Babs: "It isn't _my_ fault you two took my word for it when I said we should go this way. I was just as clueless as you were!" Buster: "Yeah, but we would've taken the _right_ road." Chris: "Hey now, it isn't totally Babs' fault." Babs: "Yeah!" Chris: "But part of it still is. If you didn't know which way to go, you should've just looked at the map. I told _you_ that I had all of the exits marked on it. . . _Fifi_." Fifi (now doing _her_ best to look innocent): "Oops! Ah guess ah forgot!" Chris: "No point in crying over spilled milk. Let's just try to fix this." He studies the map for a minute, and then begins talking again. Chris: "Okay, Buster. Here's what we've gotta do. . ." The screen then fades to the map again. We watch the red line make three circles, drive South for a moment, and then stop. The screen then wipes to a gas station. Buster, Babs, and Fifi are waiting in the car, and sitting in the same places that they were during the beginning of the trip. Chris comes walking out of the convenience store, carrying a large cup of coffee. The screen then fades to the large map again. The line goes North, by North-East until it gets close to the Canadian border. It then quickly writes "Eat at Joe's." When the 's' on "Joe's" is finished, the line goes straight to Chicago. The screen then fades to an interstate, entering Chicago. We watch the Buick enter Chicago traffic at night, from above. Camera wipe to inside of the car. Chris: "Okay Fifi, what exit do I take?" Fifi opens the glove box, and pulls out the wadded road map. She does her best to straighten it, and then smooth it out with her hand. Fifi: "Eet says to take zee eighth exeet." Chris (his eyes widen): "Oh Jeez! That's this one!!!" Chris 'hits' his blinker, as he rockets across four lanes of traffic. Several cars swerve and honk, just barley missing him. When he gets to the end of the off-ramp, he makes a sharp right turn, drives down the street for about a block, and then pulls into an Acme Motel parking lot. It's a rather nice (and expensive) looking place. Fifi: "Are vous _sure_, zat we can afford zees?" Chris: "Of course not! The state of New York pays for this, remember?" Fifi (a devilish gin on her face): "Zat eez right. And zay pay pour _all_of our expenses?" Chris: "I know what you're thinking, and you can just forget it. We're. . . I mean. . . _I'm_ not ordering a ton of room service." Babs (snapping her fingers): "Darn!" The four toons exit the car, and walk to the Motel's office. Just as they reach the front doors, Chris stops 'dead in his tracks,' and points to a plaque on the wall, next to the door. Chris : "Hold it, guys." The others join him, to see what he is looking at. _____________________________________________________ NO SKUNKS ALLOWED ON PREMISES _____________________________________________________ Buster: "You've gotta be kidding me!" Chris: "You're telling me." Fifi: "What are we goeeng to do, Chrees! We'll have to sleep een zee cold. . . how you say. . . out-of-doors!" Chris: "Don't worry Feef! I am prepared for just such an emergency. Buster, Babs, we'll be right back!" With that, he leads Fifi back to the car. When they arrive at the car, Chris takes his backpack out of the front seat, and leads Fifi behind the car. They both sit down on the ground. He looks around nervously for a moment, and then at Fifi. Chris (taking off his jacket): "Okay, Feef. I'm going to need you to take your bow off." Fifi (with a sly grin on her face, as she removes her bow): "Ooh la la! Vous are zee tres keenky one, non? And out een zee _parkeeng_ lot!" Chris: "No, no, no, Feef! That's not what I. . . here." Chris reaches into his backpack, and removes two cans of paint, (one blue, the other purple) and a paint brush. Chris: "I'm going to attempt to get us into the Motel. Just turn around for a moment, please?" She sighs, and turns around. Chris opens the can of purple paint, dips the brush in, and then gently paints Fifi's back and tail. He has a little bit of trouble with the back of her head, but finishes with a rather nice job. She then turns around, facing him. Chris: "Perfect. If I saw you walking down the street, I'd swear you were a cat." Fifi: "Merci. . . ah theenk." A moment later, Chris and Fifi join Buster and Babs in front of the Motel office. The only difference is, that they both look more like cats than skunks. Buster: "Whoa! Nice look!" Babs: "Yeah! I didn't know the painted look was in this year!" Chris: "Quiet you two! If we say anything too loud, they're gonna hear us!" Babs: "Oops!" Chris: "Forget it. Let's just go and our room." Fade out Fade in Int. A rather nice, and large looking Motel room. Through the front window of the room, we can see Chris' car parked outside. The room has two double beds, a convertible couch (hideabed), and a roll-a-way cot. Buster is in a night gown, and cap. Babs and Fifi are in robes, and Chris is just wearing his fur. Both Fifi and Chris have washed the paint off of their fur. The girls claim the beds (naturally), so Chris and Buster are forced to flip a penny for the couch. Chris (flipping the coin): "Okay. Call it." Buster: "Heads." The coin lands 'heads'. Chris then unfolds his roll-a-way bed, and gets under it's covers. Babs (Yakko Warner impression): "Good night everybody!" Fifi, Chris, and Buster in unison: "'Night Babs." The lights switch off, and everyone falls asleep. Fade out Fade in Int. A hospital lobby. The foursome walks into the hospital, with Chris leading the way. The group arrives at the front desk, to be greeted by none other than Hello Nurse. Chris and Buster immediately go berserk for a moment, until the girls splash a small amount of cold water on them. After shaking himself somewhat dry, Chris begins talking to Nurse rather casually. Chris: "Hello. I'm here for mechanical repairs." Nurse: "Oh! You must be Chris." Chris: "Yeah! But how did you. . ." Nurse: "Your doctors told me that you would be in, and to tell you that they won't be able to take care of you until tomorrow." Chris: "Oh. When should I come back?" Nurse: "Same time tomorrow." Chris: "That's cool. Thanks!" Babs: "Wait a minute. Why can't they take care of him now?" Nurse: "They were called away on official business." Babs (under her breath): "I'm sure." The group quickly leaves the building. When they get outside, Buster gives her some obviously needed questioning. Buster: "And just what the heck was all of _that_ about!?!" Babs (innocently): "All of what?" Chris: "You know what he means." Babs: "It's just that, she's on Animaniacs, and now she's gotta start cameoing on our fan-fics. Animaniacs isn't even canceled yet, and that little hussy is ALREADY invading on my territory!!!" Buster: "Whoa, Babsaroo! Settle down! You're acting like she just stole this whole story from us!" Chris: "A tad jealous, are we?" Babs: "Well..." Fifi: "Oui! Aftair all. Ah doubt zat we weel even see her, een zee rest of zee story." Babs: "I suppose I _did_ go a little overboard." The four toons walk over to Chris' car, in the middle of the hospital parking lot. Chris: "Ya know what? I think you two oughta take my car." He is indicating to the rabbits. "Go sight seeing. Have lunch someplace. Just go nuts." Buster: "Are you sure Chris?" Chris: "Sure I'm sure!" Chris leans close to Buster, and 'cups' his hand by his mouth, so Babs can't hear him. "Show her a good time. After what I just saw, I think she could use one." Babs: "So you're sure." Chris (tossing the keys to Buster, and talking to Babs): "Just so long as _you_ don't drive, unless it's a _real_ emergency." Babs: "Gee, Chris. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you don't trust me." Chris (getting his backpack out of the car): "Oh, hardy har har." Buster and Babs get into Chris' car, and drive away waving at the two skunks. When they are gone, Fifi turns to Chris. Fifi: "So what do we do now? We don't have zee car!" Chris: "Oh no? (whistle) Hey, TAXI!" A yellow cab comes screeching through the parking lot, and stops right beside Chris and Fifi. He opens the door, bowing, as she gets into the car. He then gets into the car after her, and closes the door behind himself. The instant the that the car door closes, the cab peels out, and screeches off through the parking lot. Fade out Fade in Int./Ext. We can hear Benny Goodman playing "Avalon" as we watch seens quickly pass. The first shows Buster and Babs looking at the sights, while Chris and Fifi are having lunch. Then we see the rabbits having lunch while the skunks roam around a bit. After watching several of these different sight seeing seens, we watch as Buster and Babs go back to the motel to rest, while Chris and Fifi are still living it up. Just then, the music stops as Gogo Dodo 'leans' into the edge of the screen. He is wearing a blue suit. Gogo: ". . .So as anyone can plainly see, just by taking _our_ supplements, you'll last longer through-out the day." Chris momentarily 'steps' out of his picture, coming face to face with the Dodo. Chris: "Gogo, what are you doing?" Gogo: "Selling artificial vitamins." Chris (slapping himself on the forehead, and dragging his hand down his face): "Gogo, you're on the wrong channel again." Gogo: "I am?" Fifi (from inside of the picture, reading a T.V. Guide): "Oui! Vous are supposed to be on channel 96. Not channel 9." Gogo: "Whoops! Sorry about that." Chris: "It's O.K." Chris then steps back into his picture as Gogo disappears, and the music continues. The pictures soon change to show Chris and Fifi living it up during the night life. They are both dressed up in fancy clothes (Chris is wearing a tie, and a white dinner jacket -- Fifi is wearing a strapless red dress), visiting night clubs, toasting glasses at dinner, and pretty much just having a fabulous time. At the last of these 'passing seens', we watch Chris and Fifi walk out of an obviously popular nightclub, laughing hysterically. The street is partially lit from the neon lights of signs. Chris (slapping his knee): "Oh MAN! THAT was a good one Feef." Fifi (catching her breath, and wiping a tear from laughing so hard): "Merci." Chris glances up the street to see his car parked in front of a bank. There is a shadowy figure in the driver's seat. Chris (nudging Fifi): "Hey, Feef. Get a load of this." Fifi: "Eez zat your car?" Chris: "Oui. And I have a feeling that I know who's in the drivers seat." Both skunks walk up to Chris' car. Fifi appears to be a little bit nervous. Fifi: "How do vous theenk zat zay. . . how you say. . . found us?" Chris: "Good question. Remind me to ask him that." Chris opens the passenger side back door for Fifi, and assists her in. Fifi: "Ah steel don't know Chrees. Are vous _sure_ zat zees eez your car?" Chris: "Sure I'm sure! Do you honestly think that I would make a mistake like that?" With this said, Fifi appears to feel a little bit more comfortable, and gets into the car. Chris follows her in. He then leans his head out, looks at the camera and winks. After this, he closes the car door. The figure in the front seat is obviously not Buster, _or_ Babs Bunny, but Chris is totally oblivious to this fact. Fifi on the other hand, is incredibly nervous by now. She is bitting her fingernails, and looking in all directions very quickly, like a terrified pet rabbit. Chris (leaning back in his seat): "Twice around the block should do us just fine. . . . Grovely." Moments later, Rocky the gangster comes running out of the bank. He has a large money sack in one hand, and his gun in the other. He opens the passenger side back door of the car, gets in, and shuts it behind himself. Rocky: "Okay, Mugsy. Leave us vamouse." Mugsy (from the drivers seat): "Duh. . . okay boss." Chris has a _very_ angry expression on his face, as Mugsy starts the car, and drives them away. Chris: "Just who in the heck do you think you are? What's more, what do you think you're doing with _my_ car!?!" Rocky (pointing his hand gun at the skunks): "This is my car now, and I think we just robbed a bank. Heh, heh, heh." Mugsy: "Uh, yeah! Heh, heh, heh!" Rocky (firing one round above Mugsy's head): "Shaddap! I'll do the laughing around here!" Mugsy: "Duh. . . O.K. boss." Rocky points his gun at the skunks again. Chris' temper is about to explode, and it shows! Chris: "Why you little squirt! I oughta poke you right in the nose!" Rocky: "Oh, yeah? Don't even think about it, or the dame gets it." Chris knows for a fact that his arm is faster than Rocky's trigger finger. Trouble is, as he attempts to move his arm, he discovers that he can't. Chris (whispering to Fifi, yet keeping his eyes on their captor): "Don't panic Fifi, but I can't move my right arm. I think it shorted out again." Fifi (whispering back to Chris): "So what do we do now?" Chris: "Just stay cool. I'll try to think of _something_." Fade out Fade in Ext. We watch Chris' car pull up beside a house, out in the middle of nowhere. Rocky and Mugsy both get out of the car. When Mugsy gets to the back door of the car, he reaches in, grabs both skunks, and takes them inside the house. Rocky follows them with his gun, and large bank sack. When they get inside of the house, Rocky turns to Mugsy. Rocky: "Okay, Mugsy. Put these two where they won't be in the way." Mugsy: "Duh. . . sure thing, boss." Mugsy takes the polecat pair downstairs, and puts them into a large utility closet, housing several water pipes, and a water heater. When he gets them into the room, he shackles their wrists and ankles to long chains attached to the concrete-brick wall. Mugsy (leaving the room): "Dis oughta keep yous outta dah bosses way. Oh boy! Rocky's gonna be so happy I did somethin' right!" When he is gone, Chris looks at Fifi. She looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown! Chris: "Just relax, Feef." Fifi: "RELAX!!! How can vous SAY sometheeng like zat!?!?!?! We are trapped, et chained een a basement, zat eez god onlee knows where, and ah don't theenk zat Babsie et Buster are even zee least beet worried about us! And vous want moi to _RELAX_!?!?!?!?!??!?!" Chris: "Fifi! HEY! CHILL! Have ya got a bobby-pin on ya?" Fifi (quizzically): "Oui. But what do _vous_ want wheeth eet?" Chris stretches his tail out to Fifi. She takes a bobby-pin out of her hair, and puts it on Chris' tail. Chris ('pulling' his tail back): "Just watch and learn, darling." Fifi observes very closely as Chris takes the pin out of his tail with his left hand. He bends the pin a little bit, and then inserts it into the lock. After messing with it for a few moments, the lock 'pops' open. As this happens, a broad smile crosses Fifi's face. She realizes that she has a good chance of being saved. When Chris gets the lock off of his left hand, he picks the lock restraining his left ankle. He then reaches underneath his jacket, and unzips the fur connecting his shoulder to his arm. When he has accomplished this, he unzips the fur covering his right leg, about four inches down from his hip. When he has finished doing this, he then presses a spot on his shoulder, and his right arm and leg release. He manages to hobble over to the door, and get a key that is hanging on the wall. He then sort of hops back over to Fifi, and begins opening the locks on her chains. When he is finished, she embraces him with a hug, and a kiss full on the lips. When she breaks the kiss off, she notices the bewildered look on his face. Fifi (looking deeply into his eyes): "Merci. Ah needed zat." Chris only has the ability to muster a few words at this point. Chris: "Uh. . . save fun now, have life's later. I mean, we've gotta get outta here!" Fifi helps Chris stand up. He unlocks his mechanical arm and leg, and leans on them, trying to think. Fifi tries to open the door, but she only finds that it has been locked. Fifi: "So what do we do now?" Chris (an evil smile spreading across his face): "I think I have an idea." Fade out Fade in Int. Rocky is in the bathroom washing his hands, when suddenly the water stops running from the faucet. Rocky (turning to the door, and yelling): "MUGSY! THE WATER ISN'T RUNNING! FIX IT, YOU DOPE!!!" Mugsy (from off-camera): "DUH. . . O.K., BOSS!" Mugsy walks down to the utility room. He opens the door, and walks inside. The first thing that he notices, is that their captives have escaped. Mugsy: "Duh. . . where'd they go?" At this very moment, Fifi leaps out from behind the door, and hits Mugsy over the head with Chris' mechanical arm. * CLANG * Chris (who has been standing right next to the doorway) leans over, and hits Mugsy in the stomach with his mechanical leg, causing him to double-over in pain. Mugsy: "Oww! Hey! Dat's not _fair_!" Fifi hits him over the head with the arm again. Chris : "Fifi, let's face it. This just isn't working." Chris then 'swings' his tail over his shoulder, and points it at Mugsy bazooka style. Chris: "Hold your breath, Feef!" Fifi reacts immediately. Mugsy, on the other hand, just gives Chris a 'deer in the headlights' look. Mugsy: "Huh?" Chris unleashes a massive cloud of toxic green-colored gas at Mugsy. As soon as the scent reaches him, he turns a light shade of green, as his entire body becomes 'as stiff as a board.' Mugsy then falls forward like a statue, making a 'CLANG' sound. Fifi exhales when the cloud dissipates. Fifi: "Zat was zee quick theenkeeng, non?" Chris (retrieving Mugsy's gun from it's shoulder holster): "I like to call it a last-minute panic decision." Chris puts the gun inside of his hidden pocket in his leather jacket. He then motions for Fifi to come to his aid. Chris: "C'mon, Feef. We've still gotta take care of Rocky." Fifi walks up to Chris. She positions herself next to him, so that she can help him walk. He holds his fake arm and leg with his tail, as they both walk out of the door, and slowly begin up the stairs. Rocky can hear them walking up the stairs, and just assumes that it is Mugsy. When the two skunks get to the doorway, Chris hands Fifi the gun. He then leans on the wall with his tail balancing him. He gives her instructions, while he is handing her the pistol. Chris: "Normally, I would take care of this myself. The only problem is, I can't. Not right now, anyway." Fifi: "What do vous want moi to do weeth thees? Ah don't know zee first theeng about guns!" Chris: "All you have to do is hold it to his back. If he trys anything funny. . . you say you've never shot a gun before?" Fifi (wide-eyed): "Never!" Chris: "Shoot him." Fifi: "Shoot heem!?!" Chris: "As professor Pepe Le Pew would say. . ." (he begins speaking with a French accent) ". . . Raight through zee heart!" Fifi (nervously holding the gun): "(Gulp)!" Chris holds Fifi's hands, and looks deep into her eyes, trying to calm her down. Chris (in his usual voice again): "Don't be nervous. Look, just pretend we're filming a cartoon for Tiny Toons!" Fifi: "Okay, Chrees. Ah weel geeve eet un try!" Back in the front room, Rocky has his back to the basement door. Rocky: "MUGSY!" Chris does his best possible impression of Mugsy. Chris: "Duh. . . yeah, boss?" Rocky: "Did ya fix the water yet?" Chris: "Duh. . . oh, yeah boss! It's workin' fine now." Rocky: "Good." Just as Rocky is about to turn around, Fifi quietly 'slips' into the room, sneaks up on Rocky, and 'jabs' the hand gun into his back. Rocky is about to get mad, until he hears Chris' voice. Chris (usual voice again): "Make a move, and she'll blow yer brains out, Rocky." Rocky doesn't dare to move. He even 'sticks' both of his arms into the air! However, he decides to 'call their bluff'. Rocky: "No toon broad is gonna have enough guts ta shoot me." Fifi (being the active feminist that she is) becomes enraged at his comment. Fifi (jabbing the gun deeper into his back): "Broad am ah? Why ah ought to. . ." At this moment, Chris comes hobbling into the room. He is using his fake leg sort of like a cane, and he is holding his fake arm with his tail. Chris: "Don't kill him, Feef. Not yet anyway." Chris manages to get to a chair, facing the left profile of Fifi and Rocky. Rocky is really worried at this point. He has an active feminist with a gun to his back, and a very upset teenage skunk sitting next to him. Chris has a less than pleased look on his face, as he begins talking to the gangster. Chris: "Do you have _any_ idea of how upset you've made me?" Rocky: "Well, I. . ." Chris: "Shaddap! I'm not finished yet. First, you have the gaul to steal MY car. THEN, you kidnapped MY girlfriend, as well as myself. After THAT, you decide to lock us in a BASEMENT. And brother, when you made that sexist comment to my girlfriend, I had a good notion to just let her shoot you. But no. Oh, no. I do this type of work myself." Rocky gulps hard, as Chris gets up from his seat. Chris: "Kinda funny. For a such a dangerous criminal, I expected more of a fight out of you, Rocky. Now I'm gonna take care of you, just like I took care of your stupid partner." Rocky: "You mugs killed Mugsy!?!" When he says this, Rocky jumps back, and spins around facing Fifi. As all of this occurs, he also pulls a gun out of his shoulder holster, and points it at the beautiful young skunkette. Fifi's eyes widen with alarm. She knows that she has never even _held_ a gun before, much less shot one. Rocky: "Now, for the finish." Chris: "DO IT FIFI!!!" As if it were an instinct, Fifi fires the gun at Rocky. She doesn't hit him (of course), but she_does_ hit the gun that he has in his right hand, knocking it clear across the room! Rocky jumps backwards wide-eyed in surprise, Fifi stares at Rocky in shock, and Chris just smiles. This is what he had expected would happen. An evil smile crosses Fifi's face as she cocks the gun, and begins backing Rocky against the wall behind him. Now the gangster is panicking. He knows that he is in _serious_ trouble now. Then he spies the window next to Chris. He runs, and then attempts to leap through the window. At the last possible moment, Chris holds his metallic arm in Rocky's path with his tail. Rocky slams head-first into the palm of the hand. His whole body (except for his feet) is 'scrunched' into his hat. The hat falls to the ground, turns to face Chris, and then Rocky 'pops' back into his original shape. Rocky: "I hate you." Rocky then collapses forward, landing at Chris' feet (er, well, his foot). In another room we can hear a banging sound. Suddenly, a door flys open, as Buster and Babs come running out expecting to be met by the criminals. Instead, they find Rocky lying on the ground, Chris checking to see if he has a pulse, and Fifi spinning the now uncocked revolver on her index finger. Buster: "What happened?" Babs: "It looks like this place was invaded!" Chris (getting up from checking Rocky's wrist, and smiling at Fifi): "I suppose that you could say it was!" Fifi: "Oui! We. . . how you say. . . got zee better of zem! Aftair all, vous rabbeets can't have _all_ of zee fun, vous know." Fade out Fade in Int. Buster, Babs, and Fifi are anxiously waiting inside of a hospital waiting room. After about a minute, Chris walks through a swinging door, with a doctor. Chris now has his right arm and leg attached. Doctor (handing Chris a file): ". . . And upon your request, here is the medical file containing all of the information, as well as the blue prints for your arm and leg. Just be careful that nothing happens to them!" Chris: "No problem, doc. So, I'll probably see you in about two years then?" Doctor: "About then." Chris: "Cool. Thanks again!" The doctor waves at the foursome, as he makes his way back through the swinging door. The male skunk is now met by a trio of curious friends. Babs: "So, can you do anything now that you couldn't before?" Chris (grinning): "I still can't fly." Fifi: "Deed zay geeve vous zee new appendages?" Chris: "Yeah! These one's shouldn't short out, like the others did." Buster: "Are you any stronger?" Chris: "No. But I could still probably crush the perfecto prep football team, if I wanted to." Buster: "Perfect!" Chris: "That doesn't change the fact that I _still_ don't play football, you realize." Buster: "Aw, MAN!" Chris: "C'mon guys, lets get outta here." The four toonsters turn,a begin walking outside. As they pass the nurse's desk, we can see Hello Nurse filing her fingernails. She looks up, and waves good by to the toons. Nurse: "Goodbye!" Babs stops in her tracks, rolls up the sleeves of her blouse, and starts marching towards Nurse. Babs (through grinding teeth, with a menacing smile on her face): "I'll give you 'goodbye'!" Before Babs can reach the pretty hospital worker, Buster grabs her by the ears, and proceeds to drag her out of the front doors. Buster: "Give it up, Babsie. It's only a cameo." Soon, all of the toons arrive at Chris' car, and get in. They are all in their original seating positions, as Chris drives out of the parking lot, and heads for the interstate. We watch the old Buick drive onto the Interstate, and off into the sunset. Camera wipe to a license plate pressing machine, in some Chicago prison. Rocky and Mugsy are both dressed in black and white striped prison outfits (including Rocky's hat). Rocky is operating the machine, as Mugsy hands him blank plates. Rocky: "I'm gonna get those skunks, if it's the last thing I do." Mugsy: "Duh. . . gee boss. How're ya gonna do that?" Rocky takes the blank plate out of Mugsy's hand, and hits him over the head with it. Rocky: "Shaddap!" ___________________________________________________________ EPILOGUE Int. Fifi and Chris are sitting on the couch in Fifi's Cadillac. (The story being discussed is A Friend Of A Different Color.) Fifi: "Zere eez un theeng zat has been bothering moi." Chris: "What?" Fifi: "Well, eet eez about when zee color of your fur was changed een zee last storee." Chris: "Okay. . ." Fifi: "Why deed zee fur covering your arm et leg, change weeth zee rest of your body?" Chris: "Oh, the answer is simple, really. It's the same reason that when you blush, your facial fur turns pink. Calamity could explain it better than me, but basically, it was kinda like a lame wild take." Fifi: "Oh. Ah _theenk_ ah oondairstand, now." Chris: "Like I said, Calamity could probably explain it better than I can." T H E E N D Now for legal stuff. Yay. All caricatures (except for Chris Pew, and the doctor) are copy written by Warner Bros. and Amblin Entertainment. The song 'Rescue Me' was recorded by Aritha Franklin. By the by, the Rocky and Mugsy used in this story were _not_ the younger versions of these charactures that appeared on TTA. They were the _original_ Rocky and Mugsy, that co-starred in a few Bugs Bunny cartoons. For those of you who enjoyed this story, fabu! For those of you who didn't, oh well. If you would like to send me some criticism, or comment(s) about this (or other stories), my E-mail address is cneu@trib.com. Thanks for reading, and remember. . . Stay Tiny Tooned! -HellCat (Without laughter, there would be no true meaning in life). [personal observation]