This is the sequel to my short popular fanfic "Anime-niacs: Sailor
Toon."  You can find it, plus 2 drawings I have done to go with it
(SALRTOON.GIF and SALRBABS.GIF) in my FTP site at
ftp://users.aol.com/freakazett.
     This fanfic, "Anime-niacs: Sailor Loon" has a lot of references to both
the Japanese and English (Dic) versions of Sailor Moon, another anime called
Kimagure Orange Road, plus Tiny Toon Adventures, Freakazoid, Biker Mice From
Mars and Animaniacs, but you don't need to understand them all for it to be
funny.  And, please remember this is a parody, and is in no way meant to be
insulting to the things being parodied, because I like them all very much.
Send all comments to KJTDot@aol.com, distribute freely as long as no changes
are made, yadda yadda flambe ... ^o^

Anime-niacs: Sailor Loon

     Dot sighed in content and leaned her head against Throttle's chest as
they strolled by the lake.  Well, he strolled, and she rode in his arms.  The
gentle breeze ruffled their fur.  "Isn't this romantic ..." she breathed, the
rosy glow of the sunset turning her heart shaped white face pink.  Her lashes
rested against her cheek as she turned her face up to his.
     "Smoochie -- moochie," she whispered through her puckered lips.
     Throttle smiled a little.  "Seeing as how I'm going to be wearing a
dress later in this fanfic, Babe, I don't think Dic would approve ..." he
told her in his husky voice.
     Dot meanwhile, was getting impatient.  "Fine, Dic, edit THIS!"  She
leapt up, planted her feet on Throttle's chest, and started covering his face
with kisses.
     Suddenly, something very solid fell from the sky, conking the muscular
mouse right on top of the head.  Still holding Dot in his arms, he started to
keel over backwards, only to have another object, this one heavier overall
but not so solid, crash down into them both, knocking them onto the pier.
     Dot looked up, dazed, and was stunned to see a small ponytailed loon
sitting in Throttle's lap.  A few feet away, a transparent crystal ball was
just rolling to a stop.
     "Hey!" Dot cried springing to her feet and speaking grandly, "That is --
for the purposes of this fanfic anyway -- MY boyfriend!!  Where'd you fall
from anyway, you little petri dish full of fungus?"
     However, the small loon was busily engrossed in her own thoughts -- and
the hunk in the tight jeans she'd fallen on.  "Did ... I ... just ...?" she
murmured to herself, playing back what had just happened in her mind, frame
by frame.  She saw herself fall right into Throttle, her face right into his,
her lips right against his.  "I DID kiss him!" she gasped.  Then, because
something seemed out of place she added, "Er some junk."
     Throttle meanwhile had no idea he was being ogled over, and was rubbing
the top of his head, and had little awareness of his surroundings.  His
confusion didn't diminish when the loon lunged forward with a hug crying,
"Darling!" 
     In a bolt of lightning Dot was there yanking the loon away.  "What's
with you, you little dweeb-ette-ahontas-myster?!"
     There was an evil crackle of pure evil from behind the two girls then,
making them both jump.  They turned to see a shadowy figure emerge from a
portal out over the water.  Red hair blowing and violet cloak billowing,
concealing the face, the figure glided closer.  
     "That's none of your concern."  The female voice pierced the air.  "She
is the one I came for and soon she will be mine!"
     The loon cried out a little in fear and pulled closer to Dot.
     "There is no escape ..." continued the voice "... you little
cuddely-wuddely-head!"  With that the figure threw back the cloak, revealing
young features, and a huge butterfly net.  "AA - ha - ha!" Elmyra laughed
wildly.
     With that, Dot, the loon and even calm, cool, half-unconcious Throttle
screamed in terror.
     "Come here little loon girlie cutie pie!"
     Dot suddenly put on a brave look, "Throttle!  We must fight this evil!
Have all the innocent bystanders conveniently passed out or run away yet?"
     Throttle, who had been scared conscious by the evil Elmyra scanned the
lake side.  "Yeah, Babe.  It's just you and me."
     "AND this annoying little mildewed old rubber glove someone used to
scrub the toilet and dropped behind all the cleaners under the sink!" Dot
spat, pointing at the loon.  Then she turned back to her partner.  "Ready!"
     "Can you leave in the body lines that imply nudity that Dic cut out from
the transformation sequences this time, Babe?"
     "Anything for you, Pumpkin ... as long as you do it too ... MOON TOON
POWER!!"
     Having said this, Dot was lifted by an unseen force into a pink light.
Yellow flowers showered her as she spun around, and emerged in her Sailor
Toon outfit.
     Throttle was next.  The red light bathed him and transformed his black
leather vest and blue jeans into a short red skirt, white bodice and red
sailor collar (he'd had the outfit let out from last time, so it fit now).
     The two sailors stuck a dramatic pose. 
     "I am Sailor Toon!" cried Sailor Toon.
     "I am Sailor Biker Mouse From Mars!" he cried.
     "Oh yeah?"  The little loon suddenly spoke up, "well watch this!  MOON
LOON POWER!"  With this, the loon went through a similar transformation
sequence while Sailor Toon and Sailor Biker Mouse From Mars just watched wide
eyed.  The loon emerged in a sailor outfit, calling, "I am Sailor Loon!"
     "WHAT?!?!" Dot cried, dismayed, "You CAN'T be Sailor Loon!  You can't!
You can't!  You can't!!  I'M Sailor Toon!  Your name is too close to mine ...
WWAAAAHHHH!!!"
     Suddenly Fan Boy stepped in, applauding.  He was wearing a faded "Sailor
Moon" t-shirt which was much too small for him.  "Ya know, I haven't seen
such a good Anime parody in a long time!  Wow, and I see you've brought in
Shirley the Loon from Tiny Toon Adventures to play Chibi-Usa, or Rini in the
Dic version in this one.  Well, R-I-N-I is how Dic spells it, but if you look
around on the Internet you'll see lots of different spellings; R-E-E-N-Y or
R-E-E-N-E-Y.  You also see a lot of different spellings for Darian.  Or is it
Darien with an "E?"  At any rate, it seems that Rini is supposed to be a
shortened version of "Serena" which of course is Dic's name for Usagi.  Did
you know that Usagi means rabbit?  Lots of other countries in their adaptions
kept her name as rabbit or bunny, but Dic opted for Serena.  So seeing as
Rini's Japanese name, Chibi-Usa (just make sure you don't say "chibusa")
means "Little bunny" I'm surprised that Shirley was used for the role.  Babs
I think would have been a more appropriate choice and her pink ears are
almost like Chibi's hair, but of course then you miss out in the fun of
saying "MOON LOON POWER" and using the crystal ball in place of the Luna
Ball." Fan Boy chuckled, and plunged ahead.
     "But I'm sure you've noticed this mistake.  You have Chibi, played by
Shirley the Loon and Elmyra playing Queen Beryl in the same scene.  Queen
Beryl appeared in the first season called just plain "Sailor Moon" and then
was defeated.  Next came "Sailor Moon R" and that's where Chibi-Usa finally
showed up, but she did not transform into Sailor Chibi Moon in the episode
you were parodying at the beginning.  Although I guess you have poetic
license to -- HEY!"
     Fan Boy paused again briefly when he noticed a very annoyed Dot pulling
a large mallet from the front of her Sailor Toon outfit.
     He continued excitedly, "Now I have the answer!!  You don't know how
much debate among the fans there has been as to where Sailor Moon keeps her
scepter when she's not using it.  I mean, it just shows up.  We wondered if
she kept it in the front of her costume, and now I see you pulling a large
weapon from the front of your uniform!  Aw, yes, are those guys gonna be mad
who --"
     Dot swiftly brought the mallet down on top of Fan Boy's head, flattening
him into a disk.  "Hey, I borrowed it from Wakko," she commented coolly and
threw it aside.  
     "Like, Is it over?" Sailor Loon asked with a tone of boredom as she
looked up from where she was filing her fingernails.
     "Awwww!!" Elmyra thundered, still levitating "I was listening to that
funny round head boy!  Now I'm gonna catch you, loonie girl!  And you big
cute mousie and you sweetie whatever-you-are Warner girlie with the ears!"
Holding the gigantic net over her head, Elmyra dove through the air down at
the three on the dock.
     "Hold it, slime queen!" 3 voices cried in unison, and 3 sailor suit clad
toons cloncked down onto the dock in their high shoes between Elmyra and
Sailor Toon, Sailor Loon and Sailor Biker Mouse From Mars.
     "Huh?" Elmyra cried caught off guard.  Confused, she hovered in mid air,
one finger in her mouth.
     "Sailor Scouts!!"  Sailor Toon squealed.
     "I might have been better suited for the role of Chibi Moon," Sailor
Mercury aka Babs said boldly, "But I'm Sailor Mercury and your worst
nightmare.  Here I am!"
     "You want trouble pal?  Well these high heels are killin' me and my
arthritis is so bad my tail's in knots.  Trouble's my middle name: I'm Sailor
Jupitep!" Slappy announced.
      "Uh, yeah.  I'm here too!  And ... I'm gonna stop you.  I'm Sailor
Venus!" Hello Nurse said with great difficulty in choosing the words.
     "Ooooooh!!  A bunny AND a squirely-whirley!  And a pretty nurse to take
care of all my pets TOO!  I'm gonna LOVE you and HUG you and CUDDLE you!!!"
Elmyra swooped down again with her net.
     "Not today sister!" Sailor Jupitep told her, holding her ground.
"JUPITEP OLD TV ELECTRIC SHOT CRASH!"  Slappy shot an electric spark at
Elmyra who dodged.
      "I'll get her!" Babs cried, "MERCURY DISHWASHING DETERGENT NEW AND
IMPROVED SUPER FOAMING VARIETY BLAST!"  A blast of bubbly soap shot at Elmyra
from Sailor Mercury's hands, causing Elmyra to loose her grip on her net.  It
went splashing into the lake.
     "Aw, stinky poo!  Now how am I gonna catch my new pets?"  Elmyra
wondered.  The clockwork in her head turned for a minute, before she answered
her own question.  "With HUGGIE-POOS!!"  With hearts in her eyes, she dove
toward the group on the docks.
     Shirley, Throttle, Hello Nurse, Babs, and Slappy hit the dirt, leaving a
confused Sailor Toon to turn and say, "Hey guys what's going on ... darn, I
hate it when I tune out and don't know what's going on!!"
     Elmyra scooped up Dot in her arms and squeezed her around the ribcage.
"I'm gonna love you and hug you and squeeze you ..."
     Sailor Toon made gasping noises and started turning blue.
     "Like, come on guys, we gotta help her!" Sailor Loon cried.
     "Right, Little Babe!"  Throttle said, "BIKER MOUSE FROM MARS FIRE
IGNITE!" and flicked his lighter, anti-climactically.
     "Thanks ... that did me a lot of good ..." Dot managed to get out
sarcastically in a horse voice, through the massive hug.
     "Let me try," Hello Nurse said slowly, "VENUS STEAM BEAM PRESS!"
Holding up on iron, she released a puff of smoke.
     "Great power, Venus, er some junk," Sailor Loon said sarcastically.
     "Yeah, but at least now she can get her sailor suit pressed after the
fight," Babs said, rolling her eyes.
     "Like, let me go now, 'kkay?  MOON LOON LITTLE FLUTTERY PAPER HEARTS
ATTACK!"  Sailor Loon let out a blast of swirling tissue paper hearts.
     "OooOOOh!!  Butterflies!" Elmyra cried, and letting Sailor Toon go,
chased after the "butterflies," jumping into the air and swatting at them to
try and catch them.
     "Like, are you okkay or some junk, Sailor Toon?" Shirley asked.
     "Eeeeeew!" Sailor Toon cringed.  "She hugged me!!  Bleeeech!"  She stood
up.  "It's time we took this slime queen down."  Sailor Toon said, clenching
her fist.  "Time for my super power."
     The Sailor Team behind her gasped.  
     "Don't do it, Sailor Toon!"  Sailor Mercury shrieked, "If you use your
secret power you'll DIE!!!  And then the censors will hack this episode to
pieces to make it look like you didn't!"  Babs fell to her knees sobbing.
"And then I'll never get my dramatic close up!"
     "Oh, put a sock in it, Mercury.  Don't worry.  I never die when I use
this power!  Remember!  For some reason I'm always fine!"  Sailor Toon
reassured.
     Turning, with a look of determination on her face, Sailor Toon shouted
"TOON PRINCESS ... HALITOSIS!"  As Dot chomped down on an onion, Elmyra was
realizing the fluttery paper butterflies weren't real.
     "Hey!  These are made out of tissue paper!"  She said.  Then the blast
hit her.  Like a great cloud of toxic fumes, Sailor Toon's Toon Princess
Halitosis enveloped Elmyra.  Screaming, and pinching her nostrils shut, she
created a portal above the lake and disappeared into it, crying, "Stinky POO!
And me without my gas mask!" 
     The sailor suit clad toons watched Elmyra go, then noticed Dot lying on
the pier.  "Sailor Toon!" They cried running to her.
     Throttle gently held Sailor Toon in his arms as she opened her eyes
weakly.  "Luna ... Luna ... let her be a human ..."
     "What's she talking about?"  Sailor Loon asked, confused.
     "She's delirious from using her secret power," Sailor Jupitep said.
     Babs looked at the others.  "Is she going to die?"
     "Nah, something always brings me back to life," Dot said, forgetting she
was in the middle of her dramatic death scene.
     "I know what to do," Throttle whispered, and bent his head to kiss
Sailor Toon.
     Sailor Toon's eyes fluttered open.  "Everyone," she whispered, "I told
you I would save you."
     The 5 scouts cried her name, joyfully and hugged her. 
     "Yeah, yeah, she's fine, end of the fanfic," Sailor Jupitep grumbled,
pulling off her little high heeled boots.
     Mercury, Venus and Biker Mouse From Mars quickly joined Jupitep as they
exited the set.
     "How do we change out of these outfits?" Hello Nurse asked.
     "They never really show that part," Babs answered.
     Sailor Toon, feeling forgotten, turned and looked at Sailor Loon,
standing by her on the pier.  "Sailor Toon, you're like so totally cool!
Like, I saw in my crystal ball that this show will have a long, happy life in
America ... I'm usually right ... er some junk.  So I think, like I'll stay
and be totally annoying and take over your show."
     "What?!  No way this is MY show remember!?  Come back here you little
bratty chunk of gum somebody stuck under a desk!"  Sailor Toon cried,
clomping after Sailor Loon in her high heeled boots, and Shirley ran away.
THE END